


Greenlight

by 5sass (JackoffBaratwat)



Series: Greenlight [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: I'm Going to Hell, Kinda, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, So this is a smut, Thanks, and it was between ash and luke, and makes a plan, and since then its been pretty shitty for everyone, but grinding and fun stuff and dirty talking, but something happened that kinda fucked everything up, bye, i liked writing this, its chaptered too, pls read, smut in the first chapter, so it's going to be smut and them some more smut and then some fluff, so luke vows to change it, so sex yet, so yahh, the best bits of fics, their still in the band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:43:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackoffBaratwat/pseuds/5sass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke was sixteen when it happened.</p><p>They were at a party and Luke was pretty new to being allowed out to parties, really. And even that time he'd only been allowed to go because Ashton was going to be designated driver, which meant he couldn't drink. Luke felt pretty shitty because of this; it was his fault after all. Mikey and Cal's parents would have probably let them get a taxi or something. But not Liz Hemmings.<br/>So Ash was alcohol free and Luke most definitely wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>//Something happened and Luke wants to fix it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's brilliant. We're just like brothers, really.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi smut content warning for this chapter (yea i know already) but i enjoyed writing this so no hate. I'm only uploading one chapter of this now bc it's all ive actually written, but update next week if you want it i promise okay byex

5 Seconds of Summer were doing amazing.  
They'd just sold out multiple venues and arenas all over America and the UK, their album had fucking smashed, they're fans were amazing and then they had Derp Con in a few months, flying fans from all over the world to come and meet in LA. Life was pretty awesome. Except it wasn't really.  
It wasn't that Luke was ungrateful, of course he wasn't. They'd tried so hard to get this band running, starting with just Luke and a guitar and then one by one, 5sos was born. But there was something missing. Ashton.

Luke was sixteen when it happened.

They were at a party and Luke was pretty new to being allowed out to parties, really. And even that time he'd only been allowed to go because Ashton was going to be designated driver, which meant he couldn't drink. Luke felt pretty shitty because of this; it was his fault after all. Mikey and Cal's parents would have probably let them get a taxi or something. But not Liz Hemmings.  
So Ash was alcohol free and Luke most definitely wasn't.  
And Ashton just being the beautiful humans being he was, lead him to sit on a sofa and made him a strong coffee and told him to drink it before he left so his mum wouldn't smell the booze on his breath.  
So Luke thanked him the way any drunk teenage boy would.  
Luke leaned forward and sealed their lips together.  
Ashton just froze at first, not moving at all, and Luke, through his drunken haze, somehow managed to feel stupid and went to pull away.  
But then Ashton's huge hand curled around the back of Luke's neck and his lips were moving against the youngsters, and it wasn't a sweet kiss.  
Luke had always had a little crush on Ash, he was stunning, so no one could blame him really. And apart from the lust side, Ashton's personality was really beautiful and if Luke knew better he'd have probably have called it love.  
Luke remembers pretty much everything about it, it was one of his first kisses- okay not lying it was his first kiss, and he remembers Ashton's tongue tasting a little like mangoes from the Rubicon he'd been drinking, and that he did this thing where he curved that sinful tongue against Luke's own, and Luke let out a little needy, whiny sound and that made Ashton groan low in his throat and bite down on Luke's lip.  
And then Luke's brain left the room and he begun thinking with little Luke, who was loving the situation, and he managed to manoeuvre himself so that he was situated on Ashton's lap, Ashton's hands clutched at his skinny waist, fingers fisting into Luke's shirt and pulling him closer.  
And then he released his lips and his mouth made love to Luke's jawline, biting down then soothing it with kisses and licks, and this was nothing Luke had ever experienced before, nothing like Luke had imagined this to be, and Ashton was suckling on that spot behind his ear that Luke didn't even know about, and Luke's hips jutted forward, hitting against Ashton's experimentally creating this amazing friction that Luke had only dreamed about.  
Ashton groaned again and Luke wanted to record it and have it as his ringtone, because fuck, if it wasn't the hottest sound he'd ever heard, he didn't know what was. So Luke's hips plunged forward again and then again, wanting Ash to make the noise again, because, yeah, he was a horny teenage boy and this kissing and suckling and rutting was getting him off magnificently.  
And then Ashton's hips were rising too, rushing forward in a desperate attempt to relieve that that ache that Luke only knew too well about, and Luke was practically bouncing up and down on the crotch of a boy who's face was now just buried in the crook of Luke's neck, his teeth just closed over a piece of skin, not actually biting, but just holding.  
And then Ashton flipped them so that Luke was lying flat against the sofa and Ash was on top of him, his hands being used as leverage, caging around Luke head and only their legs were touching. Instinct kicked in and Luke parted his legs, wrapping them around Ashton.  
Ashton growled, actually fucking growled, his eyes never leaving Luke's as he pressed their pelvises together, their dicks only a few layers of fabric away.  
"Just imagine Luke. If we weren't at a party. If we were at home. I'd strip every single piece of clothing off of you and this would be so many times better." Ashton's hips bucked against Luke's. "I wanna take you home, Lukey. I wanna take you home and I want to fuck you and I want to hear you cry out my name with that gorgeous voice." Ash kept a rhythm going with his hips so that every word was punctuated with a thrust. "Imagine we aren't wearing anything, Lukey. Imagine my dick inside you. I'd fuck you so good, I'd fuck you so, so good. You're always so hot, you know that. With that black lip ring and those amazing legs." He grabbed Luke's thighs and squeezed the flesh there. "So fucking beautiful." Ash thrusted specially hard then, causing Luke to cry out his name, his fingers clutching on to the older boys biceps, needing to come, feeling that coil springing inside him, tighter and tighter. "Can you feel that, Lukey?" Luke nodded eagerly. "Imagine that, but five times better. I'd find that sweet little spot inside you, I know it's there and it's begging my to play with it Luke. That, that's- that's..." Ashton's thrusts were getting messy and his sentences more and more incoherent, but it didn't matter, because Luke could only feel. He knew that with just a couple more thrusts, that would be it. He'd come in his pants at a party and a childish part of him wanted his fucking rite of passage medal, but then Ashton eyes went down to look where they were meeting, Luke's hips pushing up to meet Ashton's and Luke looked too, and he suddenly wanted to see it without the clothes and with Ash inside him, and then their eyes met again, Ashton's whiskey eyes so dilated they were all black, and Luke's vision spotted a little in the corners-  
And the door swung open, and Luke just heard Michael's voice say, "Fuck, sorry guys just looking for my buddies." And then he could hear his retreating footsteps, and then he heard them stop and turn, and Ashton jumped off Luke and sat down quick, organising his shirt so it didn't look like he'd been fucking himself against Luke's body, so Luke did the same, grabbing his coffee quickly.  
And then Michael walked in again looking adorably confused, and while Luke loved Michael, he really wanted to tell him to fuck of and grind himself again Ashton until he came, but he couldn't and then they were being bundled into a car and Ashton got into the drivers seat and started the car.  
And that's when Luke realised Ash hadn't been drunk. And when Ash looked at Luke through the rear view mirror, the look in his eyes read the same thing.

And since those fateful ten minutes two years ago, Luke and Ashton had barely had a full conversation. They hadn't spoken about it; Ashton just knows that Luke remembers, and Ashton has to remember considering he wasn't even freaking drunk, so their in a bit of a stalemate.  
Michael totally knows and like to make tiny innuendos around people, ones that no one with get except Luke, Ashton and Calum.  
Oh yeah, the fucker went and told Calum as well. 

And then one day, their doing an interview, and they're asked to describe the group dynamic. Of course when Cal says 'It's brilliant. We're just like brothers, really.' They all know it's a lie, and Luke and Ashton's eyes actually meet briefly before darting away. And that's when Luke decides this has got to stop.  
So he makes a plan.


	2. Bananas on Toast

Ashton knows, okay, he knows.  
He knows that everything is wrong and that something needs to change or the band is just going to fall apart around them. But he just doesn't know how to change it.  
He also knows that he handled things with Luke really badly. Luke tried to talk to him the next day, not about the, thing, but about toast or something and Ash just made an excuse and left the room, trying to ignore the crestfallen expression on Luke's face.  
But he had his reasons.   
It wasn't that he hadn't liked making out with Luke on a friends sofa, because he had, god the way he had to jerk himself under a cold spray thinking about Luke's hot little moans afterwards was a sure sign that he'd really fucking enjoyed it.  
Ashton was embarrassed.  
Luke was drunk, so he had an excuse to act the way he did, yes he made the first move but he probably doesn't even remember that because of how much tequila he'd drunk (Ashton hadn't actually drunk tequila since because he knew it would jus give him an insta-boner because that's how Luke had tasted), but Ash should have stopped there and nothing would have changed. But no. Ashton has to fucking grind on him.  
That was where part of the embarrassment came from. The other part came from the way he'd spoke to Luke. He doesn't remember it word for word, but he knew he'd said something about fucking him and finding Luke's special spot or something like that, and Ashton know that was a really shitty move, because Luke had liked it and so had Ash, and if anything finding out you have a dirty talk kink in the middle of penis-twerking on your best friend is probably the worst way to find out.  
But there's another thing that makes the situation ten times worse.  
Luke had been sixteen.  
Sure now he was eighteen and it would be fine and hell they could go the whole way and the police wouldn't bat an eyelid.  
But the fact that if Luke told someone about what happened, Ashton could actually go to jail scared the shit out of him.  
Yeah he knew Luke wouldn't tell, but Ash knew, and he was pretty big on morals and the fact killed him. He'd taken advantage of a really drunk teenage boy and goddamn it he hadn't loved every second. And that was the main issue.  
And the fact that they hadn't spoken properly since really hurt as well. Luke was at that stage of his life back then, where he came to Ash about really trivial things like 'What's an iguana and where can I acquire one?' and Ashton's favourite being that time Luke had googled 'plugs' for his iPod, and of course porn came up, and Ash had to help him clear the history as fast as he could and assure him that his mother wouldn't think he'd been watching porn. Of course it was hilarious, but Luke hadn't thought so because there were tears in his eyes, and he looked to innocent and adorable, and Ashton had hugged him until he calmed down whispering reassuring nothings in his ear.  
So it really hurt when Ash found out that Luke had lost his virginity from Michael, because that's the kind of thing that Luke would have straight away told Ash, because Ash knew that Luke used to idolise him a little bit. But now he didn't even look at him if he didn't have to and that really stung, too.  
And when Luke came out as bisexual to the band, he hadn't even acknowledged Ashton's presence, and he got why, he did actually, but that hurt a little too. All in all, wherever it came to Luke, Ash always felt like an outcast.  
But he powered on and tried to forget it for his own sake, but he never really could forget.   
And of course there were the times Ashton would wake up sweaty and hard because naturally he'd just dreamed about fucking his band-mate and they were always the best and the worst dreams because they were so fucking hot, but then Ash found himself picturing it all day. His favourite part was the face Luke would pull just before he came. He'd pulled the face, well, at the party, and it was honestly Ash's favourite thing in the entire world, because Luke's face would flush so beautifully and his eyes would widen and his expression was almost saying 'I can't believe it can feel like this', and his grip would falter. Ashton's eyes fluttered shut, because honestly if he thought about this anymore he was gonna get hard on the tour bus and that would never end well. The fact that Ashton could remember it in such detail two years after it had happened probably meant something, but he didn't like to dwell on that, because he had no idea what it meant.  
And of course there was the music. Every song felt like it had a hidden meaning, when it of course didn't, but Ash could feel the lyrics when Luke sung them, some of them just resonating, and then he'd freak out a little bit and focus on his breathing for a few moments.  
Like in Try Hard;  
I pierced my lip so she thinks I'm cool,  
I ripped my jeans and dropped out of school,  
I followed her 'round the town but she thinks that I'm a weirdo now.  
Ash could see these lyrics being about him if she replaced she with he, but of course that was ridiculous and he really needed his head testing. And Ash had always liked Luke being there twenty-four seven, because Ash had liked feeling needed and he had liked that Luke looked up to him.  
And then there was the entire song The Only Reason, and Ash didn't really want to analyse every sentence in that because he was beginning to get a headache and that's the last thing he need in a bus full of teenage boys. It kinda made Ash feel old.  
If Ashton was being completely honest with himself, he really missed Luke. He really missed his smell and his cuddles and just the fact that he was a little dork. And he missed just talking to him, and not feeling like Luke hated him.  
So Ashton was really fucking shocked by what Luke did that day.  
Ashton was making bananas on toast, because that's all you ever really needed when watching a Jeremy Kyle marathon, when he felt hot breath on his neck, hands on his hips and a husky little voice whispering, 'We really need to talk', and by the time Ashton whisked around, confused and a little turned on, Luke was walking away, leaving Ashton with wide eyes and an incapability to move that resulted in him burning his toast. Not that he minded, any chance to make things up with Luke was worth shit snacks, but it was the way he'd said it that had mesmerised Ashton, because last time Luke had spoken to him he was an awkward virgin who wouldn't have even been able to sound remotely sexy, but that husky baritone lingered in Ashton's ears, and Ash knew that Luke would probably be smirking somewhere, overjoyed by how well he'd handled that, and that's what snapped Ashton out of his lusty haze.  
And of course this was the boy he'd molested two years ago and he definitely shouldn't be picturing fucking him into a mattress, or a shower wall, or any wall or surface actually, but that's exactly what Ashton was doing, so he breathed through his nose and steadied himself, deciding that yeah, he did want peanut butter under his banana, and tried to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i dont know what to say:3 sorry for making you read my shitty writing and im sorry that i only have a vague idea of where im taking this and im sorry that im trash  
> if your still reading this or have read one of my other fics than stay fresh bc i think your hella rad   
> bye my pretties


	3. Little Drummer Boy

Okay, so it was a bad idea to provoke Ashton like that. Probably. Maybe. Definitely.  
But then Luke considers the look that was on Ashton's face as he peeked through a gap in the door afterwards, and it seems a little more worthwhile. 

God, Luke can actually see Ashton's tightly shut eyes and neck muscles flexing as he swallowed, his knuckles white from gripping the counter behind him, and swears he was actually seconds away from marching back out there and doing terrible things on the shared dining table. But he couldn't. The whole point of this was to take it slow and then the end result would be so much more rewarding. 

Hell, this was definitely the worst idea he'd had in a long while; it would either end really well or really badly, and Luke didn't even want to think about the latter.   
He needed this band too much for anything to go wrong.  
But Luke would never admit out loud he needed Ashton, too.

It was only Calum that knew the extent of the damage losing Ashton had done to Luke. Yeah, it was Michael that walked in on them and told Calum in the first place, but Luke would have probably told them anyway. It was only Calum who knew how heart broken Luke had been when Ash had ignored him, and for a long while afterwards. It was Cal who had listened to Luke's words, murmured through tears for days, weeks, months after. It was only Calum who knew that Luke used to be in love with his drummer boy.

But then Michael would talk to Ashton about the situation while Calum was talking to Luke. They'd secretly share notes; they thought they were sneaky sleuths, but both boys knew, even if they didn't really know what they were whispering about. But the worst bit about it was - The boys couldn't get gossip on the other, because Cal and Mikey had sworn that they weren't gonna play Cupid and that they had to sort their own mess out. 

Well, that was easier said than done, after two fucking years.   
Each band member conspired with their consort, hoping to make headway, pretending to ignore sympathetic glances and shared looks, purposely not meeting eye contact.  
Luke didn't know if Ashton knew that he'd shattered a big piece of his heart that day he'd walked out the room, but Luke really hoped he didn't. Luke practically tottered around after Ash before the incident, and it would be really embarrassing if Ash knew how far Luke's heartbreak had gone. Really embarrassing.

But then he does have some embarrassing things he hasn't told Calum, for the sake of himself. Like when he told Cal he'd had sex for the first time (a few weeks after the incident) he didn't tell him the girl was called Ashley and that he'd moaned the name Ash all night. Or the fact he still had messed up dreams about it. Or the goddamn bruises.  
Luke could draw the bruises on a canvas of himself he remembers them so clearly. Purple fingerprints littering his hips and waist, hickeys up his neck, the one behind his ear... Luke really hopes that groan wasn't out loud. 

Honestly though, Luke was an inexperienced virgin back then, and hadn't really considered kinks or fetishes, but the next day when he'd examined himself in the mirror the next day there was no doubt he had a marking kink. 

He also hadn't told Calum that he'd secretly always wanted to kiss Ashton. I guess the fact that he knew he used to love him came with the whole kiss thing, but he hadn't said the words, and that's what counted. 

Luke had first laid eyes on Ash when he was twelve. Luke was being picked on my a few bullies from his school; he'd always been a chubby kid, and his new bright green glasses hadn't helped the teasing. So Ashton had stepped in and the first part of Luke's heart immediately belonged to Ashton because he'd rescued him. The rest became in his possession after the next six years.

When the band had first come about, Ashton had showed up wearing a purple shirt, and Luke guessed he'd fallen a little further in love with him just for having the audacity to wear it. But then he'd said he didn't like Fifa and it had equalled itself out. 

He had really fond memories of their starting out, and he really missed the way they all used to be around each other, playing video games and cuddling. It fucking sucked at the minute.

A voice cleared behind him.  
"Is everything okay?" Luke looked down at himself, curled up against a bunk next to the door where he was peeking at Ashton minutes ago.  
It did look a little odd. He just grinned up at his best friend.  
"It will be soon." And then he stood up to go and take a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, sorry if this sucked, next chapter should contain some action ;) this is gonna be a late update next week as well because I wanna focus on another fic just for a week but that ayyyye back of track I promise


	4. Round Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this fic

Ashton sighs and sits down on the sofa, his body lagging with fatigue. Or maybe it was just adrenaline withdrawals. Whatever. He felt pretty shitty actually; Luke had just pulled a blinder on him, he missed his best friend, and, his snack was crap.  
The thought that he was a twenty year old man and got quite worked up over a friend saying that they needed to talk should probably say something about him as a person, but that wasn't it was it? It was that it was Luke and that they had all this unresolved lust still in them after years or awkward silences and polite excuses. Ashton still wasn't over this once tiny but now huge blonde boy, and while he doesn't think he used to love Luke, he sure felt something for him once, and, as egomaniacal as it sounds, Ashton would make a rather large bet that Luke used to be in love with him.  
When Ash thinks about what he and Luke used to have friendship wise, and what they could have had romantically, he feels bad, because at the end of the day, it was him that ignored Luke and it was him that didn't try to fix what had happened and it was him that left the room.  
He didn't tell anyone because he was a grown man, but after that he did have a little sob in the bathroom, because he had treated Luke like shit and in front of the boys. Whether or not he loved Luke romantically or not, he loved him as his best friend, and part of him knew they'd never been the same again.

Shaking his head to get rid of the angst, Ashton switched on the TV and helplessly flicked through the channels trying to find something to take his mind off his disorientating thoughts. But then Calum wondered through and sat next to him.  
"Do tell me, why Luke looks so pleased with himself back there?" Ash grinned, because even though he had managed to rile the older boy up with four words and a glance, he was still a giggly little teenager proud of his accomplishment.  
"He thinks he's smart." He replied.  
"Well then he'd be wrong. Luke has many good qualities, but intelligence isn't one." Cal joked.  
"He thinks he's won. But that was just round one." A dark eyebrow was raised.  
"Do you really wanna play with fire?" If it meant getting his best friend back he'd fucking dance in it.  
"Why not? It's what Luke is doing. Two can play at that game." Cal looked at him suspiciously.  
"What game is that exactly?" There was a pause.  
"I wish I knew." Cal sighed.  
"As awful as this sounds, please don't fuck with his heart again."  
"I wouldn't dream of it Cal. It broke my heart to break his." The kiwi smiled sadly.  
"I know. You think we didn't notice that it wasn't just Luke moping around the place those first few months. You were both different. You both have been since." Ashton rubbed a hand down his face.  
"I felt so bad, mate. Not just that I acted like a proper dick towards him, but just what happened. He was sixteen. I'm practically a sex offender."  
Cal considered this.  
"Yeah, he was underage, but it's not like he didn't want it Ash-"  
"He was drunk! I took advantage of him, Cal, he was drunk and I wasn't. I was completely coherent. I knew what I was doing, and I doubt he even remembers." Cal smirked.  
"Oh, he remembers. And he wasn't smashed. He was almost 'completely coherent', and trust me when I say he was into it as much as you."  
"What?"  
"Me and Luke talked a lot about it. Not 'it', but how he felt and stuff. Like friend counselling. He needed someone to talk to and-"  
"And I wasn't there. I get it." Cal frowned.  
"That wasn't what I wasn't going to say, but it works. Not wanting to be a knob-head Ash, but you weren't there when he needed you and while I know why, it still wasn't great, for either of you." Ash just nodded.  
"Sorry. I know that wasn't a dig. I'm just a bit snappy. I regret ignoring him you know? I miss him. Ridiculously."  
"You miss each other ridiculously. Maybe this is the start of a new beginning?"  
"Maybe."

Ashton and Cal watched TV for a while before Luke came in and Ashton got up for a shower. He meant what he said, he did want to give a little bit of fight towards Luke, but he wasn't sure how. He went into his bedroom and took his bandana off, itching his head. If he was going to do this it definitely had to be a notch hotter than a few sexy words in passing. Ditching most of his clothes on his bed, he wandered into the bathroom as a thought popped into his head...

Ash took his time in the shower, thinking through his plan and washing himself properly. As soon as he was done he stepped out the glass cubicle and ruffled his hair, wrapping a towel around his hips and making sure to knot it against his hip. He wanted a sneak peek not a full display.  
Taking a deep breath, and gathering his thoughts, Ashton opened the door and innocently sauntered through it.

He walked through the living room confidently, swaying his hips not too obviously, and went through to the kitchen that you could fully see from the living room. He opened the fridge and leaned his hip against the cold door for a few moments, pretending to search, then grabbed an apple, taking a delicate bite. He stretched his arms over his head and could feel eyes baring holes into his back, the apple still in his hand and a smirk still decorating his lips. He turned and strode back through the living room, stopping before the exit to turn round and mutter, "Sorry, got peckish", and smiling awkwardly. He left and couldn't contain his grin.


	5. A Game Of Love And Lust

Luke didn't know what to think. He could still see a topless Ashton sashaying past him and stretching enticingly. Luke saw that as an invitation that not only did Ashton want to fix them, maybe he wanted something more? Luke didn't even know he wanted that, hell he doesn't know if he wants that, but it sounded right in his head.

Luke and Ashton. Ashton and Luke.

He knows that whatever this game is, they're playing together. And it'll either fix everything or backfire on them completely. Luke didn't know if he still loved Ashton, yes, admitted that he had loved him, but he knows he cares and he knows its a hell of a lot of caring. He couldn't really sum his feelings up towards the curly haired boy. He'd loved him and he'd been hurt, and while he did feel a little 'once bitten, twice shy', he knew he wanted Ashton and he at least wanted their friendship back.

Luke can close his eyes and see Ashton stretching; he can see his back muscles work tightly and the way his hips swayed and the shape of his butt when the towel pulled...  
A big part of Luke wanted to say fuck the game and jump Ashton.

But he didn't. He sat there and watched as Ashton apologised for being hungry and left the room, leaving a sexually frustrated Luke and a Calum who was basically pissing.  
Cal laughed and laughed and then composed himself to talk.  
"You two need to get your shit together, but god, if your going to keep putting on shows like this, please make it slow." He wiped his eyes.  
"I... don't know what just happened." Luke's eyes were still wide.  
"What happened was you got played at your own game, bro, and damn your gonna get beat." Luke threw his head back in annoyance.  
"No. This is my plan. I want him begging, not me. Jesus. He can't play me that's against the rules."  
"There stopped being rules when you practically fucked on a sofa at a party." Luke frowned at him.  
"Not funny. But then again this is what this is leading up to isn't it? That's the game. It wasn't what I set out to do but its the climax, no pun intended."  
Cal bit his lip to stop himself giggling.  
"Shut up. What if this backfires on me? What if this fucks us up even more than before?"  
"Mate, you couldn't have been more fucked up." Luke sighed.  
"At least I know its not one sided anymore."  
"It was never one sided. That boy wanted you as much as his next breath, he just felt like he couldn't have you because you were younger. He put you on a pedestal and now he's afraid to take you off it. You were his one that got away. Just like he was yours." Luke thought about that for a few moments.  
"What?"  
Cal sighed.  
"Miscommunication, a killer my boy. He wanted you, that much is obvious even now, by that little performance, but back then he felt like he was using you because you were drunk and underage." Luke wanted to cry.  
"I felt so betrayed, and all along it wasn't a rejection because of me, it was a rejection because of him? I'm legal now, do you think maybe that's why he's suddenly reciprocating?"  
"He's always wanted to reciprocate, he just held himself back. He didn't think you even remembered. I don't know if he loved you, only Ash knows that, but I know he really cared for you and he basically told me he felt heartbroken as well. I'm not playing god here, all I'm saying is you cared for one another and you were both heartbroken when it didn't work out. So maybe you should fix that?" And Cal left, leaving Luke some serious food for thought.

He sat there just thinking. His brain was tied in knots, as was his stomach, but Luke just wanted this to be over. He wanted his best friend back.  
Thinking back to the conversation, Luke realised that it was more than just regret hanging over Ashton's head; it was guilt. He gets why Ash felt like that, yes he had been sixteen and yes he had been tipsy, but he'd wanted it, and there was no way in hell that he'd forgotten it or ever would forget it.

He felt bad, part of him wanted to talk to Ashton and go over things, maybe take away some of his guilt; knowing he's carried that guilt for two years hurt Luke and he wanted to rectify it, but he also wanted to fix their relationship long term, and he doubted talking would do that. It wasn't as simple as just having a conversation about it, because if it was then they'd have sorted everything by now.

He figured the best way to sort things was to plan round three. As pathetic as it sounded and felt to carry things on after what he'd found out, he didn't want to just confront Ash. That wouldn't work.  
Luke rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, and thought through what he could do next in this game of love and lust.


	6. A bathroom and a Michael Clifford.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I'm Crap at updating! I'm trying I swear. Anyway new chapter hope you enjoy boiis

Ashton sat on the bathroom floor and took deep breaths.  
A part of him wanted to jump up and down and squeal like a kid; oh yeah he'd seen Luke's face and, oh yeah had his plan worked. But that another part rationalised that that would be stupid for two reasons. One, Luke would hear and then his hard work would be ruined, and two, he'd probably trip, fall and break his neck. And everyone knows a broken neck isn't top of the sexy list for seduction. Mind you, he didn't suppose eating an apple was either. Stupid Ashton with his stupid spur of the moment ideas. He was just meant to look in the fridge, not raid it.  
So Ashton was sitting on the floor and just focusing on his breathing, because it was more than a little elevated.

He sat there for about ten minutes, roughly, not bothering to check the time, just guessing by the brown staining around the whole in his bitten apple. His butt was numb and his thighs were cold from sitting on the cold tile, but he didn't want to get up. He didn't feel like another round of sex wars just yet.  
Ashton wished he knew where this had come from. This sudden idea to silently flirt with one another. Maybe Luke had come to the same realisation Ashton had sitting on the floor of the bathroom: Luke was eighteen and Ashton missed him like hell. Or some variant.

But honestly? Thinking about the details would only ruin their chances like it had last time. Now there were no rules or age restrictions and thinking was the last thing Ashton wanted to be doing. And it would give him a headache like it had done countless times beforehand. 

He did however, briefly think about what Calum's and Michael's take on this would be. He knew Michael had been out all day, but knowing Cal and Mikey's relationship, Calum would have called or at the very least, texted the details.  
So he got his phone out and texted a quick 'hey' to the blue haired boy. Within seconds he got a response.  
'Bruh' Ashton rolled his eyes. How Michael.

3:36pm- 'Hows your day been?'

3:37pm- 'Not as eventful as yours, I hear.'

3:37pm- 'Thought you might have done. What did Cal say?'

3:37pm- 'Just that you and Luke were about to bone'

If Ashton had been drinking something, he'd have spit it out  
3:37pm- 'Holy shit'  
3:37pm- 'No'  
3:37pm- 'No boning today'   
Ashton cursed his use of the word 'today'

3:38pm- 'And I got a text from Luke'

That caught Ashton's eye.  
3:38pm- 'What did it say??'  
He waited. No reply. He put his phone down. He could be typing a paragraph, he reasoned.   
But still nothing.  
3:39pm- 'Michael???'  
Nothing.  
3:39pm- 'You still there?'

3:39pm- 'You want me to tell you what it said I'm gonna need something in return.'

3:39pm- 'What do you want from me'

3:39pm- 'Your body'  
3:39pm- 'Lol jk'  
3:39pm- 'Be my bitch for a week'

Ashton thought about this. What was a week of cleaning up after the messiest member of the band for an insight into his sexual nemesis's brain?  
3:40pm- 'Fine'  
3:40pm- 'Just tell me what the text said'

3:40pm- 'It said 'can I borrow your charger I seem to have misplaced my thin white cord.'   
3:40pm- 'And that's forwarded. Boys lame af'

Ashton felt a stab of disappointment and annoyance. Then anger.  
3:40pm- 'IM NOT BEING YOUR BITCH FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT'

3:40pm- 'There's more'  
3:40pm- 'Ashton cat walked naked in front of me and Cal. Do you think he wants to fix stuff too?'  
3:40pm- 'Also forwarded. It's like he's 12 I s2g'

3:41pm- 'Excuse you I was not naked'

3:41pm- 'Ffs Ash that isn't the dispute here. The thing you should be focusing on it the 'fix things TOO' bit, because that's the vital information you wanted.'

He was right.  
3:41pm- 'I know. Just clearing things up'  
3:41pm- 'I don't know what to do mike'

3:41pm- 'I know you don't. Neither does he. That the fun of it. Work it out. Apart or together. That doesn't matter. All you both need is a happily ever after.

3:41pm- 'Would it be lame to say I'm scared?'

3:42pm- 'Yes.'  
3:42pm- 'But it would also be brutally honest and is probably what Luke's feeling too. The question here isn't 'what's my next move?' It's 'am I ready to move on?' Because if your not it's not just Luke's heart you're gonna break again - it's your own.'

Ashton started at his phone for a few minutes. Michael had hit the nail on the head.  
For some reason, Ashton found himself doing stereotypically, cliche thing.  
Scrolling through his phone until Luke's name came up.  
He clicked on the text icon and the page that should have been filled with shitty jokes, misplaced emojis and hilarious autocorrect came up.  
Empty.  
He'd got this phone almost two years ago, his contract was up soon, and he'd never sent a text to the boy who's stolen a piece of his heart.   
How tragic.  
Ashton knew that if he didn't get up off this floor soon he'd become moulded to it- so he lifted himself up and quickly put his clothes on, hurrying out of the bathroom and into his bunk before anything could happen. 


	7. Sexty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i wrote this super late at night so there might be a few typos please forgive me, plus this is my first in depth smut so constructive criticism requested please! x SMUT WARNING

Luke lay back on his bunk with his heart pounding. He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't enjoying this, but deep down he did wonder what the fuck was going on. They were playing a dangerous game and it would probably end badly.  
His pulse wasn't calming down.  
Luke fisted his hands in his hair, twisting it out of place. This whole situation was a fucking mess and it wasn't going to get sorted out by sitting around and doing nothing.  
But maybe jinxing it with whatever the hell they were doing wasn't the _greatest_ idea. Luke was a big believer in fate, and whatever happens happens for a reason; he couldn't fathom why this had happened. Why that fiasco had happened those years ago and why Ashton had broken his heart and why they were doing this _now_ , he just hoped it would hoped it would work out in the end.  
But that tiny little part of him cynically told him it wouldn't.  
He felt like crying. He felt like screaming or writing a song or maybe even going talking to Ashton, but they were all bad ideas when he was in this state of mind.  
Especially the screaming one.  
He'd tried song writing when he was particularly emotional before and it had sounded like Adele's dog had died.

Luke didn't really know what to do with himself now, he felt like he was waiting on tenterhooks, feeling like he should be making a move.  
It felt like they were playing a really serious, really sexy game of chess.

Luke's phone dinged, and for the first time in two years, it was Ashton.

3:43pm- 'I know what we're doing.'

Luke frowned, begging himself not to read into the subtext of a freaking text. But he couldn't help it. Was Ashton mad? Hell, he had instigated this fight, so he could be. Or was he upset? He hoped not, because that made Luke want to cuddle Ashton as tight as he could. He decided to play dumb, and composed himself before texting back.

3:45pm- 'No idea wat youre talking about'

3:45pm- 'Jesus, I forgot how bad you were at texting'

3:45pm- 'I forgot how pedantic u are'

3:45pm- 'Nice. Now I know how you passed you're SATs'

3:46pm- 'Play nice'

Luke forgot how easy chatting with Ashton could be. He'd missed the comfortable stability between them.

3:46pm- 'Anyway... Don't play dumb with me Hemmings'

3:46pm- 'Still oblivious...'

3:46pm- 'No you're not. You're playing an interesting game'

3:46pm- 'And ur not?'

3:46pm- 'Touché. However, I think we may have reached a stalemate.'

3:47pm- 'U do?'

3:47pm- 'I do. I think we're out of moves.'

3:47pm- 'And wat do u recommend we do now?'

3:47pm- 'Well, I have a few questions'

3:37pm- 'ok...?' A few seconds went by.

3:37pm- 'Do you ever think about that night?'  
3:38pm- 'Do you ever imagine what would have happened if Michael hadn't walked in?'  
3:38pm- 'I'll let you into a secret'  
3:38pm- 'I do'

Luke was holding his breath.

3:38pm- 'I remember the things I said to you, about wanting to take you home, get you naked and fuck you'  
3:38pm- 'I said something along the lines of wanting to hear you 'gorgeous' voice screaming my name'

Luke felt faint.

3:38pm- 'I think about it all the time, Luke'  
3:39pm- 'Think about it when I'm all alone, just me...'  
3:39pm- 'If Michael hadn't walked in I'd have a lot more to play with'  
3:39pm- ';)'

Luke couldn't make himself reply. He put his phone down next to him and scrubbed his hands down his face before picking it up again.

3:39pm- 'Wat are u playing at Ashton'

3:39pm- 'I miss you and I want you and I don't have to feel bad anymore.'  
3:40pm- 'God Luke, that little show I put on earlier made me want to say fuck the whole thing and jump on you'

_Holy. Fucking. Shit._

3:40pm- 'Is this getting you worked up Luke?'  
3:40pm- 'Are you hard?'

He was well on his way to being, but to hell if he'd tell Ashton that.

3:40pm- 'No Ashton'  
3:40pm- 'Go watch tv im gonna take a nap'

3:41pm- 'I think you forget how well I know you Luke'

3:41pm- 'People change'

3:41pm- 'Not you. You're the biggest creature of habit I know. And this is turning you on'  
3:41pm- 'Does the thought of me jacking of to you touching me and whispering dirty things in my ear get you all hot Luke?'

3:41pm- 'No'

3:41pm- 'Okay then.'  
3:41pm- 'Guess I was wrong'

Luke's phone went silent, leaving him hard and needy. _Shit shit shit shit..._

3:43pm- 'Ashton please'

3:43pm- 'What's that Luke?'

3:43pm- 'Talk to me'

3:43pm- 'What about sweetie?'

3:43pm- 'Jesus fucking Christ Ashton, u could talk to me about the weather right now and id probably still have a boner'

Luke heard a distant laugh.

3:43pm- 'Okay then'  
3:43pm- 'That night was amazing for me'  
3:43pm- 'Touching you'  
3:44pm- 'Saying sinful things to you'  
3:44pm- 'The most shocking part was how much I liked it'  
3:44pm- 'The naughty words'  
3:44pm- 'How hard they got me'  
3:44pm- 'I was putty in your hands and you didn't even know'

Luke took a calming breath.

3:44pm- 'The was you looked at me was, wow'  
3:44pm- 'You looked at me like I was a magical object'  
3:44pm- 'Like you thought the sun shone out my arsehole or something'  
3:45pm- 'But that's for another time'  
3:45pm- 'Are you touching yourself Luke?'

Luke threw his head back in lustful exasperation.

3:45pm- 'Youre killing me Ash'

3:45pm- 'Yes or no?'

Luke pouted thoughtfully.

3:45pm- 'Not yet'

3:45pm- 'But are you horny?'

3:45pm- 'Maybe'

3:46pm- 'If I close my eyes I can see you on top of me me'  
3:46pm- 'Your moans used to wake me up in the middle of the night'  
3:46pm- 'Breathy little noises while you desperately searched for more friction'  
3:46pm- 'Needy kisses'  
3:46pm- 'Jesus Christ Luke, I could come from your noises alone'

Luke mentally said fuck it, and off came his Jeans.

3:46pm- 'I very nearly came in my pants just from your reactions, let alone fucking you'  
3:46pm- 'I've cursed Michael with every name in my repertoire since then'  
3:47pm- 'If he hadn't walked in, I don't see why we wouldn't have ended up fucking on that sofa'  
3:47pm- 'Would you have liked that Luke?'  
3:47pm- 'Fucking me on that sofa where anyone could have walked in?'  
3:47pm- 'Me finding that spot inside you that I promised I'd find?'

Luke took his boxers off, not talking his eyes off the small patch of moisture that had formed near the band. He got up and locked the door before settling on his bed.

3:48pm- 'I imagine stripping you down'  
3:48pm- 'You'd be completely naked and I'd be fully clothed, because we both knew I was in control'  
3:48pm- 'And I'd kiss down your entire body, never breaking eye contact'  
3:48pm- 'And then suddenly I'd be between your legs'  
3:48pm- 'I wouldn't touch you , just stick my finger in my mouth and suck it'  
3:48pm- 'And then I'd part your legs and lift them higher'

Luke wrapped a hand around his cock and jumped a little at the contact. He stroked up and down a few times, his thumb brushing over the tip and rubbing in the precome there. He hissed.

3:49pm- 'And then I'd slowly push my finger inside you'  
3:49pm- 'It would hurt because you'd never done anything like that before'  
3:49pm- 'But I'd just kiss all over your face until you'd forgotten, and then I'd start to move my finger'  
3:49pm- 'I'd build it up until I was fucking into you with three fingers, and you were loving it'

Luke twisted his hand around, stroking and massaging and brushing, feeling a familiar pull in his stomach.

3:49pm- 'And then I'd pull out and you'd start to complain'  
3:50pm- 'But I'd unbutton my jeans and pull out my cock'  
3:50pm- 'And then I'd spit on my palm and rub it all over my cock and then slowly I'd push in'

Luke's hand movements sped up, his toes curling into his sheets, teeth tightly pressed into his lower lip.

3:50pm- 'It would hurt and you'd cry a little, but I'd kiss you again'  
3:50pm- 'Promise you it would wear off and be okay soon'  
3:50pm- 'And it would be'  
3:51pm- 'And then I'd pull out slowly and shift back in'  
3:51pm- 'Tilting my hips until I hit that spot that makes you cry out and grab my shoulder for support'

A moment went by and Luke frowned, but continued to stroke himself, just a little slower.

3:51pm- 'God Luke, I'm so hard right now'  
3:51pm- 'Are you touching yourself?'

Luke typed with one hand.

3:51pm- 'Yes'

3:51pm- 'Good. So am I'

Luke tossed his head back against his pillow until his phone bleeped again.

3:52pm- 'I'm gonna come soon baby'

3:52pm- 'Me too'

3:52pm- 'Good. I wish I was fucking you right now, using my hard cock to make you come'

Luke's hand sped up again, twisting and flicking his wrist until his stomach tightened and tightened...

3:52pm- 'I wish it was your mouth instead of my hand'

3:52pm- 'Those beautiful lips and talented tongue against my cock'

Luke dragged his hand up his cock and rubbed the head with his tip and all of a sudden his vision blurred and his phone was buzzing but _fuck_ , he didn't care, because he was seeing stars. He dropped his phone and gripped the bedding with a tight fist as his cock exploded and white strands decorated his clothed chest and a low groan left his lips. His legs spasmed on the beg, flailing a little as he came down from his high, a high induced by a boy sexting him from the next room. Luke stroked his cock a little more before he had to stop because of the oversensitivity, and looked down at the milky substance painted on his tee.  
Luke didn't think he'd ever come that hard from just jerking off before.  
He carefully tugged his tee over his head and used it to mop the come off his chest, then Luke checked the last few texts.

3:52pm- 'Shit Luke'  
3:52pm- 'Holy fuckkkk'

And then nothing. No noise was coming from the other room, and Luke's phone was silent for the first time in a while.  
The blonde haired boy sat on his bed, and thought about what the fuck had just happened, and what it meant for himself and Ashton.


	8. We drink to forget our mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't been on AO3 in ages, and I log in tonight for the first time in about 3 months, and see a comment begging for an update and the comment was from about 2 months ago and I felt horrifically guilty so I started writing this chapter at about half 2 in the morning. So it's probably shit. Anyway, voila :) x

It was a few hours later when Ashton finally stumbled into the master bedroom, his vision blurred and body shaking from the alcohol pulsing through him. He'd drunken way more than he usually did, trying to forget Luke's name and forgot his own first. 

So he was drunk, miserable and slightly damp from the rain that he had escaped from just before it became anything more than a drizzle.   
Ashton shed a few layers of clothing - his shirt, jeans and socks, before getting into the spacious bed. 

The curly haired boy was in a perfectly comfortable position ready to drift off into a deep sleep when someone spoke. 

"What the fu-"

A hand patted the duvet covering Ashton a few times, getting closer to his head until he was smacked in the face. 

"Ow. Jesus." Ashton rubbed his nose.  
"What, Ashton?"   
"Yes, Luke?" There was a pause.  
"Why are you in my bed?"   
"I'm not in your bed, you're in my bed."   
The bed shifted.   
"No, I most definitely am not."   
"Oh." A moment passed.   
"Oh? Really?"   
Ashton shifted so he was facing Luke. He could barely see his face, the unsheathed window provided enough moonlight to illuminate the outline of Luke's face, making Ashton want to take a picture. Or write a song.   
His foggy brain tried to fit lyrics together.

"You are drunk, right? Not just stupid."  
Ashton thought.   
"Honestly? I think Both." Luke snorted.  
"Agreed." They were both silent for a few minutes, before Luke spoke.

"Do you feel better, now you're drunk? Like, that doesn't make sense, let me rephrase. Does being drunk make you feel better about our... Situation?"   
"Our... Situation?" Ashton imitated, giggling.   
"Ashton."   
"Fine. Okay." He inhaled deeply.  
"Yes. Maybe. No. I don't know. All I do know is that when I'm drunk I'm not thinking logically. So maybe that is better. But I'm not sure, in all honesty."  
"I wish I could just get drunk and forget all my problems." Ashton laughed bitterly and turned on his back to face the ceiling.   
"Oh Luke, I wish it worked like that. I usually end up forgetting where I live before I forget want I wanted to forget."   
"Did you get drunk because of what happened... Before?"   
"Big fan of dramatic pauses tonight aren't we, Lukey."   
Luke didn't dignify that with a response, instead waiting for Ashton to continue talking.  
"Yes. I did get drunk because of before."  
"Oh. I'm sorry."  
"About what? I texted you first. I initiated it."   
"I know, but I still feel, I don't know, responsible."   
"I'm sorry too."  
"Why?" Ashton shrugged, presuming Luke would notice. Nothing else was said for a while. 

"Tell me something. Anything." Ashton though for a moment.   
"I drank Advocaat tonight for the first time. It's horrible." Luke inhaled a laugh.  
"I really like the fog. I think it makes things seem beautiful and mysterious."   
Ashton paused.   
"I'm not really allergic to cats."   
"What?"  
"I'm not really allergic to cats."  
"I thought that didn't add up. Why did you lie?"  
"Interviewer was asking about you. So I swerved and talked about cats. I don't know. It felt right." Luke laughed.   
"Sometimes I watch makeup haul videos."   
"Why?"   
"It just amazes me how much of that shit girls have. Like there is a lot of makeup out there Luke. Did you know that?" Ashton turned on his side again and saw Luke smiling, amused.   
A few seconds passed. 

"I think you're beautiful." Ashton heard Luke's eyelashes drag against the pillow when he looked up suddenly.   
"Like really beautiful. You have beautiful hair that always looks so soft and those eyes aren't even blue, they're like, damn it, like they like cerulean or cyan or whatever all I know is they're fucking gorgeous." Ashton stopped for a second.   
"And you have legs that don't seem to stop ever and lip ring literally hurts me and when you nibble it I want to cry because things like that shouldn't be allowed to be seen and I love your shoulders? Please don't ask. And I love your laugh and your smile and your sense of humour and I love your stupid jokes and the fact that your can't text to save your life. I love your amazing voice when you sing, or even just when you speak and how you light up when you're around someone you love. I just..." Ashton turned on his back.   
"You know what? I'm drunk. I should go. I'm sorry." Ashton pulled the duvet away from his half naked body and began climbing out of the bed when Luke's hand closed on Ashton's arm.   
"You could stay. Here. In my bed. Just to sleep, obviously. It's late and I don't trust that you won't die going across the hall, so just sleep here and we'll talk in the morning. Okay?"   
Ashton was silent for a second, looking at Luke's hand on his arm. His eyes lifted to meet Luke's, which were visible now he was facing the light source. He looked vulnerable.

Ashton found him self nodding, curling his body into Luke's warm bed, and falling asleep.


	9. Shit. He'd forgotten about Ashton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated!! pls love me!!!!!!!!

Luke woke to the sun streaming through the curtains of his bedroom, the light hurting his eyes as he opened them slightly.  
He rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, trying waking himself up thoroughly. God only knows what time it was, but he was awake now, and doubted he could get back to sleep.  
As he went to throw a leg out of the bed to go to the bathroom, an arm swung over his waist.  
What the..?

Luke maneuvered his head, looking over at his bed-mate.  
Shit. He'd forgotten about Ashton.

Luke glanced between the sleeping boy and the arm slung over his waist and frowned.  
Usually the thought of Ashton's bare arm grazing his body would have him feeling melancholic and regretful as he imagined what could of been, but this time, knowing that had happened between them on iMessage, and recalling what Ashton had said to him last night about him being beautiful, Luke felt anything but sad. A slow blush ran up his neck and over his cheeks. He puffed out a slow breath.

He contemplated waking Ashton, just nudging his shoulder and maybe going to get coffee so they could talk about, well, them, but for some reason, Luke couldn't bring himself to. Maybe it was the way Ashton's fingers kept clenching and scrunching up Luke's t-shirt, or maybe it was the was Ashton's soft curls splayed out on the younger blondes pillow, but regardless, Luke couldn't, wouldn't wake him.

So he lay back down, this time facing Ashton, and just watched him.

He watched the way Ashton's gentle breaths were blowing his longest curls away from him, he watched the way his eyelashes brushed his full cheeks, the way his plump lips opened slightly with his exhalations.   
Luke blushed harder.

And then Ashton's fingers flexed and grabbed the side of Luke's shirt tight, his long digits brushing against his clothed skin.   
Luke drew in a deep breath, causing Ashton to stir.  
Luke screwed his eyes tightly shut.

The younger heard Ashton's eyelashes brush against the pillow lightly, and could feel the weight of his stare. He felt hot all over.

The darker haired boys fingers danced along Luke's skin, obviously consciously this time, making the experience ten times hotter. Luke's teeth bit down on his lower lip and he heard the other boy breathe in deeply. He still pretended to be asleep.

Ashton then withdrew his hand from the blondes waist, causing him to accidentally whine. Why the hell was he..?  
But then fingers touched Luke's cheek, thumb brushing alone the bone and Luke couldn't stop his eyes opening and them meeting Ashton's.

Ashton's fingers stilled and his eyes widened like a dear in the headlights.   
They stayed like that for a few seconds; unblinking, until Ashton's fingers started moving again.

First they moved along Luke's cheekbone again, gently stroking, and Luke's nerves immediately stood on end.   
Then they played with the closest tufts of the younger boys hair. Luke had always been a sucker for his hair being played with, had been since he was a little boy, but something about the way Ashton did it made it so much less innocent.  
Then, ever so slowly, Ashton's fingers moved away from Luke's hair, down his cheekbone, gliding softly against Luke's lower lip, pausing slightly in the middle, causing the blue eyed boy to groan aloud. Ashton's eyes darted up from his lip up to his eyes and stayed there for a few seconds, causing Luke's pulse to quicken even more.  
Then those hazel eyes concentrated at the job at hand; squaring back in on his finger, still on Luke's lip.  
He pulled his finger downwards to Luke's chin, dragging his lower lip down with it. The sinful fingers then trailed down Luke's neck, so slowly, and Luke thought he would die. Then Ashton paused. Luke went to look at him questioningly, but before he could, Ashton's head moved in, teeth snagging the skin on Luke's neck and Luke moaned.

Then the head pulled away.

Ashton quickly stumbled out the bed, facing away from Luke. The blonde sat up speedily, confused.  
The elder pulled on his jeans and then turned back suddenly, looking as if he wanted to say something.   
"Luke-" He stopped himself, running a hand through his hair, composing his thoughts.  
"Luke, I can't. Not like this. Trust me, fuck, I want to, you don't even... I want to. But we need to talk first. I won't mess up again like the last time."  
"Ash-"  
"C'mon. Let's go get some breakfast."


	10. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day. Hopefully this will make up for sucking so bad<3

Luke stood from the bed, acutely aware that he was wearing a plain white vest and some penguin pj bottoms, while Ashton was wearing some boxers. He was genuinely surprised that neither of them was supporting a hard-on, but decided to ignore even the idea of penises. Or penai. Whatever the plural of a dick was, he didn't want to think about them. Especially Ashton's. Luke felt like screaming.

Luke was angry that Ashton had stopped where he had; when his teeth touched his neck he thought he was going to die; but he was also kind of glad. Ash was right, they needed to talk, and god only knows Luke wouldn't have had the willpower to stop.

So here he was- watching Ashton pull on yesterdays t-shirt whilst shedding his own penguin jammies. 

'This is the reason Ashton never wants to have sex with me. It's because I look twelve.'  
He thought to himself, pulling some fresh undies out of his drawer, then glancing back at Ashton and changing his mind.  
Fuckin' hell, if his mum could see him she'd kill him, but no way in hell was Luke getting his ass out in front of Ashton's heavenly being.

Luke finished getting dressed, tapping Ashton on the shoulder when he was done, making the older boy jump a little.  
"Come on. We could go to Best's? I haven't been there in ages." Ashton smiled.  
"Yeah, sure. Neither have I come to think of it."  
"Yeah..." Luke didn't mention that this was the place they used to come for special anniversaries just the two of them; things like birthdays, celebrations of petty things like exam results and even just as a pick me up. Best's was their go to breakfast joint, even though they hadn't been in years.

Leaving Luke's bedroom, Ashton bumped straight into a passing Calum, who immediately raised his eyebrows.  
"Walk of shame..?" Luke went red.  
"No, Cal. It's... hard to explain. We're going to breakfast. I'd invite you but, we all hate you. The only reason we keep you around is because you play good bass. And can sing. Something I can't do. So scam Hood." Calum sniggered and walked away.  
"Enjoy your date dweebs."

Ashton pushed open their apartment door, held it open for the other boy and then locked it behind them slowly. They walked in silence together for a few moments before Luke spoke.  
"You can, you know. Sing, I mean. I've heard you a few times, walking past when you were in the shower, or even listening to your backing vocals secretly. And you're really good." Ashton frowned at Luke, so he just kept rambling.  
"I thought a few times that maybe you could actually fully participate in a song, like not just backing, but sing a verse or a chorus, not that you aren't good enough to do an entire song, but, I don' know. Anyway, we weren't talking so I didn't want to bring it up. But I still think-"  
Luke was cut off by a hand on his waist pulling him forward.  
Then Ashton's lips met his; unlike the other time they had kissed, this was soft and gentle and there was no agenda, no rush. Ashton stroked Luke's cheek and neck whilst his lips moved against the other boys, slowly opening them and then their tongues were moving together just as carefully. Luke felt basked in love, his own arms circling the elder, fingers plucking at his worn t-shirt. Ashton pulled away but stayed close, his nose brushing along Luke's.

"What-"  
"Because you're cute and I've missed you." Luke sighed against Ashton.  
"I've missed you, too."

They walked to Best's in silence; It was only a ten minute walk from the apartment they'd picked out together as a band, and Luke loved that the silence wasn't at all awkward.

When they arrived, Ashton held the door open for Luke, and they went and found a table. They studied the menu for a few minutes, the silence now growing a little tense, when they were interrupted by their old friend and favorite waitress, Diana.  
"Boys! My are you two a sight for sore eyes!"  
Diana was still as beautiful as she was back then despite her age; graying brown hair, vibrant green eyes and a stunning hourglass figure. She must have been around fifty-five now, and was still a knockout. Luke remembered one time they had gone to Best's late because they couldn't sleep and Diana was working. When she clocked off the boys walked her home considering the time, and they talked about her life. She was an amazing woman, so funny and lively, that Luke was surprised he hadn't missed her that much. He felt guilty.

"Di! I could say the same thing about you, hot stuff." Ashton winked and Diana giggled.  
"How are Dante and Rita?" Diana perched on the booth next to Ashton.  
"Good, good. Dante got accepted into his college, you remember?" Ashton and Luke both nodded.  
"And Rita is just starting high school. Goodness she's pretty now. Grown into a proper young lady."  
"Well if she's anything like her mother, I'm not surprised." Diana giggled again and jumped up.  
"Anyway, enough about me, how are y'all doing? Heard you're pretty successful now. Rita and her friends are big fans. Can't stop talking about how gorgeous this Luke Hemmings is." Luke felt himself going red. The other two laughed.  
"Of course, none of them believe me when I tell them they used to be two of my best customers. 'Were', being the operative word. What happened to you two? You dropped off of the face of the earth."  
Ashton jumped in quick.  
"Relationship issues, Di. I'm not gonna lie, it was tough for a while there. But I think we're gonna pull through." Diana grinned.  
"Good for you. Always thought you made a good couple. You could see how much you loved each other just by standing near by. It radiated. Obviously I'll keep shtum, but I know my daughter will be made up. She keeps going on about how much she 'ships' you two. No idea what that means, but I get it." She smiled motherly.  
"I really do."

She took their order, promising the 'extra good stuff' with a wink as she walked away. Her words left Luke with so much food for thought that he didn't think he was gonna need his breakfast. Her talking about Ashton and his relationship like that, even saying how they felt about 'each other', not just what Luke felt. Did that mean Ashton had reciprocated his feelings? Had Ashton loved him back?  
"God, Luke. I can hear you thinking from over there." Luke looked up, startled.  
"Hmm?" Ashton shook his head.  
"Out with it. There's obviously something on your mind."  
Luke thought about what he was gonna say for a second. He couldn't just out and say that he was confused about their relationship, both sexually and romantically. How would that sound?  
"What are we doing?"  
"What, like as a couple?" Luke's heart warmed at the word 'couple'.  
"Yeah."  
"I think we're feeling it out. I don't think either of us can deny that there's still a sexual attraction there after the years, but I think the reason it broke down last time was because we didn't talk. Which is why were here."  
"Okay, but why now? Why, after nearly three years, did we decide to do this now?"  
"I'm not a hundred percent sure, Lukey. But I'm putting it down to fate."


	11. I looked at you and I was Blind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a terrible person. I said I'd update THREE MONTHS AGO AND DIDN'T. I'M SO SORRY. Anyway, thank you to user HPFangirl71 , whose sweet comment inspired me to update. hope you enjoy:)

Luke and Ashton talked until their food arrived. They talked about the band and their current favourite music and their families, but neither of them brought up the reason they were actually _at_ the diner. Luke felt as if Ashton was almost avoiding the subject, and Luke was too chicken shit to bring it up. And that frustrated him. The whole scenario they were in now had occurred because Luke had decided he was a finally goddamn adult, and now here he was again, missing his chance to man up. He felt like crying.

Suddenly Diana appeared again, putting down Luke's banoffee pancakes and Ashton's french toast and bacon, and two glasses of orange juice. Luke cut into his pancakes, feeling the complete opposite of hungry, just to have something to do with his hands. He cut a small piece, making sure it had some caramel and banana on it, and then moved on to the next. He did this a few times, before noticing that Ashton had stopped talking about a bus upgrade, and was staring at him. Luke frowned.

"What?" He went to ask if there was something on his face, then remembered he hadn't actually eaten anything yet.  
"Talk to me. I know something's wrong." Luke avoided Ashton's eyes. He shrugged.  
"Luke, if we don't talk, this won't work." Luke looked at Ashton then, his cyan blue eyes sad and round. He didn't say anything, just stared at Ash. The older boy sighed.  
"Okay. Lets talk then. I'll start, because clearly you have lost the ability to." Ashton let out a long breath, and stroked a hand through his hair.  
"Three years ago, aw shit Luke, you were my best friend. You were like my little brother - wait, just listen," he interrupted Luke's frown. "You were like my little brother in the way you reminded me of Harry, but, also not. Like, whenever Harry was crying, I would comfort him because it's my obligation as his big brother. With you, if you were sad, I would comfort you because it caused me physical pain to see you upset. Or if Harry needed help with his school work, I would help him, despite hating every second. But I would want to help you, because I loved the look on your face when you finally understood something difficult. When Harry came to me to cover up breaking mum's favourite mug, I laughed at him and told him to go find some superglue. But when you came to me that time, after breaking your mums vase, I searched the internet for hours until I found a replica, because there was never an option to do anything otherwise. You get what I mean, Luke. You were my little brother in the sense I had a need to protect you and keep you happy, but in a way that was completely different to me and Harry." Ashton took a deep breath.  
"And when you kissed me at that party, something in me just switched, and suddenly you were all I saw. There was something so erotic in seeing someone I knew to be so timid, make the first move." His eyes shut like he was picturing the night. "I said some pretty graphic things to you that night, and I hated myself so much afterwards, for weeks, because I always saw you as this innocent little boy and the things I said to you weren't mean for your ears." His eyes opened.   
"I've thought about this a lot, mainly because for a very long time it was all I could think about, and I know now that for years I'd put you on this pedestal, and you were 'untouchable' to me, so when you kissed me and I reacted the way I did, I was ashamed. And I took it out on us. I thought ignoring it would fix us and I was so wrong Luke, and I'm so sorry, because you were on of the most important things in my life, and I fucked us up, and my life hasn't been the same since and it's all my fault." Ashton stared at Luke; Luke was enthralled, unable to look away from Ashton, and Ashton was the same. Luke cleared his throat.  
"I get it. The whole 'little brother' thing, because you were like my big brother, except I was in love with you." Ashton inhaled deeply.  
"And it hurt me for so long, feeling like you were the sun, the _actual_ _sun_ , and I looked at you and I was blind. And I knew that when you looked at me as a boy not that much older than your baby brother, and that really effected me. That party... I know I'd been drinking. But I wasn't drunk. I knew what I was doing. I was tipsy enough for it to cloud my judgment - not that I'm saying kissing you was a mistake, but that normal Luke wouldn't have do it because he would be too busy thinking about the consequences. That night, that was the hottest thing that's ever happened to me. I couldn't think about anything else for weeks after, and I've relived it so many times that I could write it down. I hate the idea that you put me on a pedestal, because no one decides what I deserve but me. And I wanted you, in every way." Ashton looked away.  
"I didn't know you were in love with me." Luke laughed but it was humourless.  
"I was so in love with you I didn't even know anyone else existed." Ashton closed his eyes again. When he opened them again, his pupils had nearly engulfed his hazel eyes.  
"That night was one of the hottest things that has ever happened to me, too. You were so, responsive. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. And the sounds you made..." Luke made a noise in the back of his throat and Ashton growled.  
"Exactly. Like. That." Luke took a drink of his orange juice, trying to take the attention away from sex. Luke thought he would spontaneously combust after the past few days; everything turned him on at the minute. But Ashton just watched Luke drink, and Luke noticed, making a chocking noise as he swallowed too fast. Ashton's lips tipped up at the corners.  
"Wanna get out of here?" Luke whined.  
"Yes." Ashton threw a few notes on the table and made his way to the counter. He leaned up against and looked around. Diana emerged from the kitchen, grinning. She really was incredible. She spotted Ashton and Luke and made her way over. Luke loved that even though they were both running out of the diner to have sex, Ashton still thought to say goodbye to Diana. This situation was very dangerous, and if Luke wasn't careful, his heart would break all over again.  
"You boys off?" Ashton grinned at her.  
"Yeah. But I promise we'll come back next week." Di huffed.  
"I should think so." She pointed at them both. "If you leave and don't come back for another three years, I'll be pissed as hell." Ashton laughed.   
"Scouts honour." He leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She leaned in and whispered something in Ashton's ear before making her way over to Luke and scooping him up into a big hug. She leaned into his ear, too.  
"He loves you, too. Maybe he hasn't realized it yet, but trust me. I know what a boy in love looks like."

  
Ashton and Luke left the diner hand in hand. It was silent for a few moments, before Ashton spoke.  
"What did Di say to you? Before we left?" Luke smiled.  
"What did she say to you?"  
"I asked first." Ashton protested. Luke grinned into the older boys bicep.  
"Just that we were really shitty tippers." Ashton laughed out loud. He leaned into Luke's ear, deepening his voice.  
"We're excellent tippers. I know you're lying, Lukey." Luke shivered and Ashton groaned.   
"You're make this whole 'lets talk first' thing really hard, Luke." Luke was outraged.  
"You're the one whispering in my ear and groaning."  
"Is my groaning making it hard for you to concentrate, Luke?"  
"Yes! Well, yeah." Luke blushed.   
"Think how I feel, with your little whines and gorgeous lips." The blonde boy didn't know what to say.  
"So, what do you wanna do when we get back?" Luke blushed harder.  
"We could watch some TV?" Ashton continued. "Or play a video game. I have some laundry I need to do." Luke bit his lip.  
"Don't. If you start nibbling on those lips, this will be over before it's even started." Luke moaned and Ashton's nostrils flared.  
"Home. Now. I want you naked."  
"Yes," Luke said, voice a little husky, "I want that too."


	12. Hurricanes and Drizzles

The walk home was tense, to say the least. Luke usually disliked how long his legs were; he was so lanky. But right now, with his strides matching what would be two for a normal legged person, Luke felt like getting to his knees and thanking God. Or at the very least, getting on his knees in front of Ashton. Luke had rarely seen the older boy like this; Ashton's jaw was harsh and his eyes were fixed. He looked like a man on a mission.

Best's Diner was only a quick walk from their apartment, but right now, it felt like they were taking on the Sahara. Their hands were intertwined, but not in a cute romantic way. No. They were holding on to each other tightly, not daring to let go in case it delayed their journey home.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Luke and Ashton burst through the lobby doors of their block, and took quick steps towards the elevator. Ashton pressed the button and Luke could see his jaw working. The blonde boy didn't think he'd ever been this turned on in his life.

The doors finally opened and the boys stepped inside. They shut behind them without anyone else getting in. Luke heard Ashton mutter, 'Thank fuck,' and then suddenly Luke was slammed against the wall of the metal carriage, and Ashton's lips were destroying him.   
Luke's first thought would have made him laugh under different circumstances. He envisioned the scene from the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' movie, where the girl is in the same situation Luke was in now. But funnily enough, Luke didn't laugh.

Usually, during kissing scenes in movies or books, the character cradled each others cheeks and trailed fingers down necks; but this wasn't a book or a movie. Ashton's mouth moved with purpose and Luke felt it down to his bones. Lips immediately parted and tongues explored. Luke felt the other boys hand smooth over the material covering his abdomen, then slip under it, cool fingers dancing along warm skin.The blonde boy gasped into the elders mouth and felt him grin dirtily. Then suddenly the fingers grazed along the skin above his jeans, and Luke moaned, gutturally. A loud ping sounded out and before he knew it, Ashton had pulled away and the younger boy whined, suddenly feeling cold. The doors in front of them opened and a young woman wearing earphones walked in, typing on her phone, not bothering to look up. Luke saw the mischievous smirk gracing Ashton's lips and frowned. What was he thinking?  
Luke's train of though was cut off when he felt confident hands cupping him through his jeans. Luke's eyes met Ashton's. And then, slowly, quietly, Luke felt his zipper being pulled down. The younger boy pulled his lip between his teeth and saw the other boys eyes darken. A hand worked its way past denim and cotton to find hot, hard skin. Luke moaned loudly, and Ashton stilled. Their eyes locked, Ashton grabbed Luke's cock, and tortuously, began to stoke it. Luke's head lolled back and hit the metal behind his head, stinging. But he felt nothing but pleasure. Suddenly the hand was gone and his pants zipped. Luke uncharacteristically growled, surprising both boys.

The elevator doors opened once again and Ashton guided his band mate through them, hand on the small of his back. Once they were approaching their flat, Luke heard Ashton's voice whispering in his ear.  
"I can't even express to you what I'm feeling right now, Lukey. I've never experienced anything like that in the elevator. You're such a good boy, aren't you, until you get naughty. Loved the way you felt in my palm, smooth and warm. I can't wait to have you there again. I can't wait to make to moan my name."  
Luke fumbled with his key, unable to get it in the lock. Ashton laughed and took the key from him, unlocking the door in one swift movement. Unable to do anything but be a zombie right now, Luke stumbled through the boundary to their flat.   
"So, where do you wanna do this, baby? Bed, couch, counter, shower, it's your call." Luke swallowed, his throat dry.  
"Bed."  
"Bed?" Ashton purred. "How very vanilla."

Ashton took Luke's hand and lead him to his own bedroom. Luke wondered why they were in here and not Ashton's room, but then decided he really didn't care. He was too flustered to use his brain.

Luke was suddenly nervous. He didn't know why, but out of the blue, anxieties surfaced. He'd never had sex with a buy before. Being bisexual, Luke had lost his virginity to a girl, and only had sex a few times since. He'd stuck to girls, unable to think of any guys other than Ashton in that way. Luke frowned. Maybe he wasn't bisexual after all. Maybe it was just Ashton. Really, that didn't sound that implausible to Luke. Ashton was a star, and not in a corny way. Well, maybe in a corny way. Luke hadn't been joking before when he'd said Ashton was like looking at the sun; Luke had never met anyone who consumed attention like him before, and without even trying. Ashton was the kind of man you stared at even when you didn't realize, that you hung on the every word on, and the man that you fell in love with. Luke knew he wasn't ugly, in fact he was quite attractive, but it wasn't just Ashton's face that was beautiful, it was his heart and his brain. Ashton was like a sunset, stunning and inspiring, the kind of all-encompassing sight that you stopped and stared at, and in comparison, Luke was a cloud on a spring day, replaceable and forgettable. The blonde was suddenly reminded of the John Green quote about hurricanes and drizzles. Luke felt like crying.

A hand touched Luke's cheek, making him jolt. Ashton was staring at him, confused.  
"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Luke just shook his head.  
"We don't have to do anything, if you don't want." Luke's head shook again, and this time, his eyes met Ashton's.  
"But I want too." He leaned in and kissed him.

Ashton kissed him back, pushing lightly on the blue eyed boys chest, guiding him until he was lying flat on the bed, Ashton climbing on top of them. Something had changed between them, their kisses were softer and meant infinitely more. Ashton's hands tugged on the hem of Luke's shirt and they broke apart. Luke lifted his arms for Ashton to remove the item, and the dynamic changed again. Ashton's eyes darkened, and the shirt was thrown away. Ashton's came off next. Luke's hands tugged at Ashton's wayward curls, pulling hard enough to make the older boy groan. Ashton's fingers came to rest on Luke's zipper once more, and the boys maintained heavy eye contact.

Just as the zipper began it's journey down, the bedroom door burst open, and Michael bounced in. He went to speak, then his mouth comically closed and he took in the sight before him. A topless Luke lay underneath a topless Ashton, whose hands had paused on Luke's zipper. Michael's eyes widened, and then suddenly, he screamed "My eyes! They burn!"  
He ran from the room, still screaming those four words, until someone caught him and calmed him down, presumable Calum, a few moments later. Ashton and Luke were frozen in position.   
A knock came at the door and someone cleared their throat.  
"I came, fuck no, ew, forget I said that, I was going to ask Luke if he wanted to go to Chrissy's house party with us. I checked Ashton's room and had found it empty, so I was going to call you after I'd asked Luke. But hey, two birds one stone, I walk in on Ashton about to suck Luke's dick. My life is officially over." Michael moaned, and a banging noise, presumably Michael's head hitting the door, sounded out.  
Ashton sighed and climbed off Luke, grabbing both their disguised t-shirts from the floor.  
"Yeah, we'll come." Michael made a chocking sound at Ashton's choice of words, and Calum giggled.

They were in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love getting comments from you guys, you honestly make me so happy:)xxx


	13. I'm going to get changed and Google what T-Minus means.

Ashton stared at Luke once they were both dressed and stood in the lounge of their shared apartment. The blonde's hair was disheveled to say the least; the usually perfectly styled locks stood up in odd places in odd ways.  
Ashton grinned into his own shoulder. That was his fault. An unknown primal side of Ashton was ecstatic that it was his fault that Luke stood in this room in front of their two best friends looking so utterly wrecked, not only was his hair a mess, but his eyes were wide and his lips puffy. Ashton let out a little giggle. All six eyes rested on him.  
"What? This situation is hilarious." Luke frowned. So did Michael.  
"You wanna pay for my therapy? That's twice that's happened now. We need to invest in a 'Do Not Disturb' sign." Calum laughed. Michael looked at the ground and grinned. Ashton's eyes narrowed. What was the story there? Over the past few weeks he'd noticed tentative touches and shared smiles, but he'd put it down to friendship. He'd had no reason to suspect anything else. But now, seeing Michael smiling to himself, and the look of pure adoration from Calum, he wondered if he'd assumed wrong.  
"Anyway. Chrissy's house party. You boys in?" Calum interrupted Ashton's reverie.  
He looked at Luke, who just shrugged. Ashton sighed audibly.  
"We're in." Michael's hands clapped together.  
"Excellent. We leave in T- Minus thirty minutes. I'm going to get changed and Google what T-Minus means." He went to leave the room, Calum close to his heels. He turned suddenly.  
"Oh, and Luke? You might want to get changed, too. Your t-shirt is on inside-out." Calum laughed out loud while Luke turned a pretty shade of pink.

 

  
Twenty-five minutes later, and Ashton wandered out of his bedroom wearing a blue button up and black jeans. When he'd gone through his wardrobe earlier to find something to wear, the blue had immediately jumped out, reminding Ash of Luke's eyes. He wished he could just stay at home with Luke, cuddle up, watch a movie, and then maybe get naked, but he would rather Michael and Calum didn't know what they were up to all night. Going out with them was preferable to them telling everyone at this party what Luke and himself were up to.  
Ashton sat down on the couch and ran a hand down his face. He wondered what him and Luke were, but then decided not to put a label on it. They were figuring it out, one touch and one look at a time. Slow was good. It was better than last time, at the very least.  
He heard a soft 'snick', and Luke walked out of his room, wearing a dark grey button up with the sleeve rolled up and black skinnies. The grey made Luke's eyes even brighter, if that was possible. Ashton smiled.  
"You look amazing." Luke smiled back, shyly.  
"Thank you. So do you." He perched down opposite Ashton on the arm-chair. They were quiet for a few seconds.  
"I'm glad we're talking again." Luke voice broke the silence. Ashton beamed.  
"Me, too. I have no idea what inspired you to hit on me in the kitchen the other day, but I'm glad you did. We'd be in a whole different situation now if you hadn't."  
"And if you hadn't reciprocated by running around topless, I would have probably just descended into the realm of 'Awkward-loser', once again." Ashton laughed.  
"I was worried this would be awkward." Luke nodded in understanding.  
"Me, too. _Really_ awkward. But it's not. And that gives me hope." Ashton smiled again. He felt like he'd smiled more than he had in his entire laugh these past few days with Luke.  
"I refuse to back down. Not this time. We're gonna work this out, Luke. And at the very least, if we don't, you know, then we'll be friends. No bad can come of this." They smiled sadly at each other.

  
A loud bang interrupted the intimacy and Michael emerged from his bedroom, peeking through the fingers that covered his face.  
"Is it safe to come in? Christ on a cracker, I need to stop saying the word come in front of you guys. It's making me nauseous." He moved his hand slowly.  
"Praise out savior. CALUM YOU CAN EMERGE NOW, THEY'RE CLOTHED!" Michael shouted to the only unopened door. It opened and Calum walked out, smiling, looking carefree.  
"Good. If I wanted to watch gay porn, I could just unlock Michael's laptop." Michael just laughed.  
"Oh, hush. As if you know the password anyway." Calum grinned and leaned into Michael's ear whispering. Michael blushed for a second, a notion so un-Michael, then frowned. Calum leaned back, looking like the 'Cat who got the cream'.  
"How do you- you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm going to change it when we get back. Not as if there's anything to find." He rushed to add the last bit.  
Calum raised an eyebrow.  
Ashton cleared his throat.  
"So, Chrissy's party. The whole band going to be there?" Calum stopped looking at Michael long enough to answer Ashton.  
"Yeah. I suppose, technically, we should stop calling it 'Chrissy's party'. It's all their party, really. Although, it _was_ Chrissy's idea." Michael grinned. He loved Chrissy. Not in a _boyfriend-girlfriend_ kind of way, although there had been rumours of 'affection' between them a year or so ago. None of that was actually true, though, because as Michael had told all of them, including Chrissy, Dan and Will, he was, quote, "One hundred and ten percent homo", unquote. They were just very close friends.  
"Chrissy's amazing at organizing parties. I don't know why, she's just great at it. That girl is great in general." Calum shuffled ever-so-slightly closer.  
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you had a secret girl-crush." Michael raised his pierced eyebrow.  
"And If _I_ didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous." Calum smirked.  
"Good job we know each other, then." They stared for a while.  
Ashton cleared his throat again. How the hell hadn't he noticed all this sexual tension before?  
"Are we all ready?" Calum and Michael snapped out of it and both nodded. He turned to Luke, his blonde haired angel.  
"Are you ready, baby?" He whispered, just for Luke. The youngest boy smiled softly.  
"As I'll ever be."  
Ashton didn't know if they were talking about leaving the apartment, or something else entirely.

So they left; Michael and Calum close together, and Ashton's hand on the small of Luke's back, just as Ashton felt it should be.


	14. Extracurricular Bathroom Activities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't update for 3 months, and now I can't stop? Anyway, hope you enjoy! *NAUGHTYNESS WARNING*

They took a cab to the party - It wasn't far away, only about a twenty minute drive, but the way Ashton was feeling, it felt like hours. Being in this close proximity to Luke, and witnessing the strange goings-on of Michael and Calum, the taxi felt like a chocking combination of testosterone, pheromones and lame jokes. Every since departing from their apartment, all Michael had done was make stupid jokes to try and ease the tension. But Ashton and Luke both noticed that Michael had stopped making jokes as soon as Calum's hand rested on his leg. Luke was bright red and even Ashton could say he was a little on edge.   
This party was doomed for all of them from the start.

When the cab pulled up outside Against The Current's apartment block, Michael grinned. He hadn't seen Chrissy in months, and he loved Will and Dan, too. They exited the vehicle one by one, Michael first and Ashton last, and buzzed at the door.  
"Hello?" Chrissy's voice sounded happy and a little drunk. Michael grinned.   
"Hi, babe, let me in I'm freezing my ass off out here!" Chrissy laughed.  
"Did you bring your beautiful band?"  
"I brought _a_  band, but beauty is relative." Calum whispered in Michael's ear again as Chrissy buzzed them in. Michael's eyes closed and he unconsciously leaned into Calum's touch. Ashton averted his eyes. It felt wrong to witness something so intimate.

  
Luke pushed forward, opening the door and going for the stairs rather than the elevator. Ashton followed him, leaving Calum and Michael alone in the lift.  
"Stairs?" Ashton asked after a flight or so.  
"Yeah, figured we'd give those two their privacy." Ashton nodded then remembered Luke couldn't actually see him.  
"Makes sense. I wonder when all that started, anyway." Luke huffed a laugh, but it was humourless.  
"Probably when we were too busy being self absorbed." Ashton agreed to a certain degree, but noticed an edge to Luke's voice.  
"I wouldn't say 'self-absorbed', more like, 'deservingly selfish.'" Luke shrugged ahead of him.  
"Luke, what's wrong?" Luke kept climbing.  
"Talk to me, come on." Ashton grabbed the blonde's wrist and turned him.  
"I just feel like we were too busy in 'us' to even acknowledge our best friends. I mean, before today, we hadn't even spoken to them for days." Ashton frowned.  
"Luke, do you not think we have the right to fix us? I mean, fuck, we haven't spoken for _three years_ , I think we're well within our rights to take some time for us."   
"I know, so I don't understand why I feel guilty. They're obviously fine, I can see that, I just feel selfish. And inconsiderate."  
Ashton smiled and touched Luke's cheek.  
"I've known you since you were twelve, and I can honestly say, you couldn't be selfish if you tried. Their isn't a bad bone in your body Luke Hemmings. You're made of light. You're an angel. You're MY angel." Luke leaned into Ashton's hand, his eyes closed.  
"I've missed you, so much." Ashton's nose nudged Luke's.  
"I've missed you, too."

They climbed the stairs then holding hands, meeting Michael and Calum at the top. Michael's hair hand changed sides and he was developing a rather purple looking abrasion under his jaw. He wouldn't meet anyone eyes. Calum said nothing.  
Just as Michael was about to knock, the door swung open and Chrissy leapt into his arms. Michael smiled into her hair.  
"Hey, Christina."   
"Please don't call me that Michael Gordon." She let go and smiled brightly at the rest of the band.  
"Hi guys, come on in, the parties in full swing."  
As usual, Chrissy Costanza looked beautiful. Her dark hair was loosely bunned and strips circled her face. She had bold eyeliner and lipstick so dark the purple looked almost black. She wore a black crop top and black skinny jeans. Despite wearing such dark clothing and being so short, she still stood out against the crowd.  
  
The apartment was dimly lit but bright enough to see; multicoloured spot lights rapidly moved around, giving it a night-club-esque feel. Drinks were scattered everywhere, both remembered and forgotten, and jackets littered the couches. Discarded shoes also aligned the hall wall, scarily uniform in rows, obviously placed there before the consumption of alcohol.  
"Sorry boys, no shoes in the new flat." Luke frowned.  
"You'll have a huge party, but no shoes?" Chrissy laughed.  
"When you put it like that, it does sound stupid. But don't blame me, you know how Dan can be sometimes. He's so... anal."  
They all nodded, managing to put their immaturity aside to continue the conversation.  
"Where is my fave anyway?" Michael asked.  
"I thought I was your fave?" Calum pouted.  
"Don't flatter yourself, Cal. We all know Michael only has eyes for Dan." Chrissy linked Michael and winked when leading him away. Calum's eyes narrowed a little, and he wandered off, muttering something about 'jagermeister'.  
Then Luke and Ashton were alone.

Everything was calm for a long time after that, Luke and Ashton drank and chatted, Michael and Chrissy gossiped in the corner and Calum just drank alone.

Luke and Ashton were fairly drunk; not quite as drunk as Calum, but not as sober as Michael. The chatted and laughed at stupid things, until Luke announced that he needed to pee. They went together, mainly because Luke begged Ashton to keep guard of the door, as he certainly _did not_  trust drunks at a house party not to barge in while he was 'mid-flow'. Ashton stood guard as any good guardsman would - sat on the floor whilst laughing his ass off at Luke, who was singing 'Agadoo' whilst urinating. Ashton heard the toilet flush and the tap start up, then the door opened, and Luke stood there, grinning from ear to ear. Ashton's breath caught in his throat. Luke was so beautiful, and no amount of cider would ever change that.   
Then the spell was broken.   
Luke, being the awkward limbed giraffe he was, tripped over the door boundary, and landed right on Ashton, who was squatting opposite the bathroom. Luke, now sat in Ashton's lap, just stared at Ashton, who seemed just as shocked. Despite having the voice of an angel, Luke was about as graceful as a hippo. Luke, suddenly clear of mind, shifted his legs so he wasn't half on Ashton, half on the floor, but rather entirely on Ashton, his legs on either side of the older boys hips. Their foreheads touched. Luke's hands found Ashton's biceps and gripped them, fingers tickling. Luke had developed a love of Ashton's arms since they'd grown due to his drumming. Luke had woken up many a night in the past, panting, after dreaming about the strength in those muscles. Despite wearing a long sleeved shirt, Luke could feel the warmth of Ashton's skin through the fabric.   
He then trailed his fingers up from his biceps to his neck, gently working his way up the column, stroking the hot flesh as he went, leaving the skin hotter in the wake of his touch. Next was Ashton's jaw, and Luke traced the slight stubble there. He brushed his finger against the older boys full lower lip, and finally raised his eyes to his. Ashton's eyes were dark; his black pupil nearly entirely enveloping his hazel irises, and his jaw was tense.  
"Luke." Ashton warned, his breath coming in hot puffs against Luke's lips.  
"Shh. Just, relax." Luke kissed the bicep he'd just touched. Ashton breathed in deeply. Luke looked up at him once again. They had barely touched, yet both boys were destroyed.   
Luke's lips traveled the same journey his fingers had; from the bicep, up to the neck. Luke kissed and nibbled on Ashton's throat, and found it to be especially sensitive. He bit down on junction between Ashton's neck and shoulder hard, then licked the space to sooth the burn. Ashton groaned.   
He moved on to his jaw, nipping at the stubble and nuzzling with his nose as he went. The gesture was as passionate as it was tender. Then, he hovered over Ashton's lips. They made eye contact again, and Luke saw no Hazel in the older boys eyes anymore. They stared for a few more seconds, the gaze filled with heat, before Ashton growled and tugged on Luke's neck to finally bring their lips together.

The kiss was hard and demanding - both boys were worked up and needed an outlet, taking out their passion on each other. Ashton's fingers curled around Luke's neck, moving the younger boy to where he needed him to be, and Luke's fingered found Ashton's curls and tugged, manipulating the kiss. Neither boy was dominant or submissive; they both rivaled each other, each meeting their match. Ashton managed to change positions so they were kneeling, then standing, backing the younger boy into the bathroom he'd just been in. Leaning back against the door, Ashton pushed the lock into place, sealing them both inside.   
Luke leaned into Ashton, his height advantage meaning Ashton had to follow Luke's movements in order for their lips to continue to touch. The blonde boys fingers brushed Ashton's side, slid down and under his t-shirt, until his was peppering light touches to his abdomen. Ashton flipped them so that Luke was now against the door, lifting the younger's legs up and around him, propping him up against the door. Luke's hips bucked up and Ashton groaned, breaking the kiss. They both took a few breaths.  
"What is it with us and parties?" Luke asked, which Ashton kissed down his throat, making him moan.  
"Must be the ambiance." Luke laughed but was cut off by another moan as Ashton licked the length of his neck. Luke hips bucked again. Gripping onto Luke's thigh, Ashton walked them over to the counter by the sink and sat Luke down, his legs still locked around Ashton's hips. Moving back to his mouth, Ashton moved Luke's legs so that they were slightly above his ass, allowing him more space to thrust into Luke. Luke cried out and grabbed Ashton's neck for support. Luke nuzzled into the space between Ashton's ear and neck.  
"I was thinking," Luke bit down lightly, "You've touched me, but I've never touched you." Ashton let out a surprised moan, thrusting into Luke again, who bit down harder on his neck. Leaning back slightly, Luke reached for Ashton's t-shirt, tugging up until it was thrown across the room. Ashton went to do the same, but Luke shook his head.  
"Wait." Luke's fingers ghosted along the band of Ashton's jeans, the tips grazing past it lightly, then unzipping them slowly, his eyes never leaving the older boy's. Pushing them down slightly so they rested on Ashton's thighs, Luke pushed down the boxers underneath, too, exposing Ashton's cock to the cool air around them. Luke finally looked down, his hand enclosing around Ashton's dick, causing the boy to jerk into the blonde's hand. Luke watched, mesmerized, as his fingers traced the length, then thumbing over the slit in the head. Ashton hissed. Luke's eyes snapped back to his, and he pushed forward, working his body until he was no longer sitting on the counter, but standing in front of Ashton, still holding his hot length. Luke then dropped to his knees, his face now level with Ashton's cock, and looked up at the exposed boy through his eyelashes.  
"Do you like seeing me like this, Ash? Kneeling before you, ready to put you in my mouth?" Ashton groaned, his hands holding on to the counter around Luke's head for support. He nodded.  
"Good. I've thought about doing this a lot, you know. Not just after the last party, but before too. As soon as I realized how I felt, I wanted to try things, with you. I wanted to experiment with _you_. Didn't think I'd get the chance. But now look at us," Luke licked a small strip up Ashton's cock for emphasis, causing the older boy to groan again, "me about to suck you off in a friends bathroom, and you loving every damn second." Luke's lips enclosed over the tip of Ashton's dick, causing the older boy to hold the back of Luke's head for support. Hollowing his cheeks, Luke sucked hard, before releasing and kissing the length, then licking it, before working his way back to the tip and taking all of Ashton in his mouth. Ashton moaned, low and guttural, his fingers tightening in Luke's hair, urging him on but being careful not to hurt him. Luke's continued to torture Ashton; despite never giving or even receiving a blowjob before, Luke had lived this scene out so many times and thought through his every move to the point he felt like a pro, and the way Ashton was moaning and gripping his hair made him proud. Shuffling his jeans down a little more, Luke reached for Ashton's balls, and slowly massaged them whilst continuing to suck, pushing Ashton over the edge. Groaning Luke's name and drawing out the vowels, Ashton came in Luke's mouth, and Luke licked him clean until Ashton was too sensitive for more. Climbing up from his squatting position, Luke leaned into Ashton, kissing him, aware of the startled noise Ashton made when he realized he could taste himself on Luke's lips. Reaching between them, Ashton palmed Luke through his jeans, reaching for the zipper just as he'd done just a few hours before in the elevator - then came a knock at the door.  
Ashton growled into Luke's neck causing him to laugh and whine at the same time. Hoping the party-goer would just go away, Ashton and Luke remained silent and still. But sure enough, anther knock came, along with a "I really gotta piss, man." And Ashton leaned away from Luke.   
"I'm sorry, baby. I promise I'll sort you out when we get home." Luke nodded and kissed Ashton again.

  
After leaving the bathroom, Ashton and Luke found themselves a nook and few beers and just talked. Each touch meant infinitely more now after their experience in the bathroom, and both boys found they liked their private little bubble. Until it was popped.  
A loud crash sounded out across the room, as Calum tripped, dropping a glass on the floor in a drunken attempt to stand. Chrissy rushed over and quickly and efficiently tidied the smashed glass away, and Michael went to comfort Calum, only to be brushed away. Michael looked upset for a few moments, before sliding into his comfortable persona of the clown and laughing it off before leaving the scene.   
Sighing and looking at each other for confirmation, Ashton and Luke left their private nook, and went to help their best friends.


	15. Never call me daddy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I was asked to update by HPFangirl71, and I promised I would x  
> I'm thinking of wrapping this up in a few more chapters, then I have SOMETHING else regarding this particular story in mind, something I'm really excited for, so i'll give more details about that soon :)

Everything moved quite fast after that.

They all left the party, getting in another cab to take them back their apartment. The car ride was even more tense than before, despite how impossible that seemed.

Calum was staring out the window, unflinching, as Michael stared at him. Luke watched them, desperate to know what was happening, what was wrong, how he could help, but Ashton's hand on his thigh was almost like him literally telling Luke not to get involved, not to aggravate the situation.

So the torturous journey continued, until the boys got home, and Calum got out first, charging towards the building, ignoring Michael, who was calling his name and following him.

"Fucking hell. Did they feel this uncomfortable when we weren't talking?" Ashton asked him, leading Luke in with a hand on the small of his back, because they were both a little tipsy.  
"Probably."  
"I hope they sort their stuff out soon. We've only just got normal back, I'd like to keep ahold of it for as long as possible." Luke hummed in agreement.

When they were finally inside, the place eerily quiet and empty, Luke and Ashton walked straight to Luke's room and started getting ready for bed, the sexy mood killed from the awkward car journey.

When they were ready to get in bed and sleep, Ashton glanced at Luke uncomfortable.  
"I hope it's okay me being here, I didn't ask, but-"  
"Shut up. It's fine. I want you here." Ashton beamed and got under the covers with Luke.  
"I want to be here. I just want to cuddle and be close to you, you know?" Luke giggled, intoxicated still.  
"I do know. It's okay. Come on, snuggle in." Luke held out an arm and Ashton huffed.  
"You should be snuggling in to _me_  you big baby."  
"I'm taller."  
"Shut your face, Hemmings." Ashton snuggled into the out stretched arm anyway. It was silent for a few seconds.  
"Love you, Lukey." Luke's eyes opened wide. He swallowed. Ashton was just drunk.  
"Night, Ash."

Luke woke up with a slight headache, nothing unbearable, with his head resting on Ashton's chest. Ashton grumbled and shuffled around a bit.  
"Mornin'." Luke smiled and kissed his chest.  
"Hi."  
"What do you wanna do today?" Luke hummed.  
"No idea. We could have a movie day." Ashton laughed and Luke felt it under his palm.  
"Okay. Good idea. Harry Potter day?" Luke jumped up.  
"Oh my god, I've always wanted to do that. That's an amazing idea. We could ask Michael and Calum, as long as they've made up."  
"Shit, I forgot about that. Last night is only just coming back to-" Ashton's eyes widened. He must have just remembered saying 'I Love You' to Luke.   
"Yeah, me too. I hardly remember anything after leaving the party." Luke quickly lied. Ashton knew he was lying, Luke hadn't been quite as drunk as Ashton. They changed the subject.  
"You go make some form of food and I'll find the others?" Ashton nodded.   
"Yeah. I'm gonna brush my teeth first, though."  
"Good idea, me too."

Luke brushed his teeth, then walked to Calum's room, tentatively knocking on his door, earning a sharp 'SHHH!" from the other side, before he heard Calum whisper "Come in."  
Luke pushed the door open to see Michael asleep on Calum's naked chest, Calum's head resting on top of us. Well, this certainly answered a lot of Luke's questions. He smiled.  
"Hey." Calum said, his fingers gently stoking Michael's arm.  
"You two are together then?" Calum nodded.  
"I'm surprised after I acted like such a twat-waffle last night, but, yeah. We're together."  
"Good. You look good together."  
"So do you and Ash. I didn't think I'd see that happening any time soon."  
"I didn't think I'd see THIS happening any time soon, either."  
"Touche. Anyway, what did you want?" Luke leant his hip against the door frame.  
"Me and Ash are gonna have a Harry Potter day and wanted to know if you wanted to join?" Calum looked down at a sleeping Michael.  
"Yeah, that sounds cool. I'll wake him then we'll be out soon." Luke nodded and shut the door behind him as quietly as he could.

"You wont believe what I just saw." Luke jumped up on the kitchen counter in front of Ashton, who was mixing ingredients in a bowl."  
"What?"  
"Calum and Michael snuggling." Luke sounded proud.  
"Like couple snuggling?" Luke nodded slowly.  
"And Calum said we look good together."  
"We do." Ashton spooned some of the batter into a warming pan, and turned to Luke, leaning over him on the counter.  
"We look _great_  together." Ashton leaned into Luke, kissing him languidly. Luke placed his hands on either sides of Ashton's neck, his fingers stroking as Ashton continued kissing him slowly, tortuously. Luke whimpered into the kiss, wanting more, always wanting more. Ashton pulled away.  
"Keep doing that and we won't watch the films." Luke groaned.   
"Fine. Stop kissing me then."  
"I can't help it. I can do it whenever I want now, and I intend to."  
"Well you're going to have to help it, buddy, because we're having a movie marathon and I don't want to see any penises." Michael said as he walked towards the sizzling pancakes.  
"Yeah, you saw enough penis last night to last a lifetime." Luke quipped. Ashton laughed out loud as Michael blushed.  
"Fuck you. Like you didn't see penis last night."  
"I didn't actually. We're waiting until marriage." Michael snorted.  
"That's why Will Ferri text me last night saying he heard you moaning like whores in his bathroom and you leaving after he knocked." It was Will that had needed to pee last night? Crap. Luke blushed.  
"Suck a dick Michael."  
"Gladly, where's my boyfriend again?" Calum beamed as he walked towards them.  
"Boyfriend?" Ashton wiggled his brows.  
"Yes. We're in our honeymoon period. And not even you can ruin it."   
"Fair enough. Pancakes and Harry Potter?"  
"Sounds like a plan to me."

They ate pancakes while the movie played, in comfortable silence. Michael was cuddled into Calum's side, and Luke was cuddled into Ashton's. Everything felt pretty good really. Ashton leant into Luke.  
"How about we go on a date? A proper date, not a diner." Luke hummed.  
"That sounds nice. What were you thinking of?"  
"Would it be cliché if I said dinner and a movie?" Luke laughed.  
"Yes, but I don't mind. I like cliché."  
"Good."  
"Will you guys shut the fuck up?" Michael grumbled. Luke and Ashton and Calum laughed.

They only actually made it until half way through the Prisoner of Azkaban before Michael and Calum snuck off to their bedroom.  
"Fucking typical." Ashton said as he paused the movie.  
"Want to keep watching?"   
"Or we could go on that date?" Luke smiled sheepishly.  
"Yeah, okay."  
"What's on at the cinema right now?"  
"There's a new X-men movie out?" Ashton grinned.  
"Good times."  
"Okay, you check the times. I'm going to get changed."  
"What, so I'm going in my pajamas am I?" Luke laughed.  
"You don't gel your hair you ass." Ashton considered this.  
"That's true. But you always wear the same outfit."  
"Now that is blatant lie. I'm stunningly fashionable."  
"You got the stunning part right." Ashton nuzzled Luke's neck. Luke chuckled.  
"You're teetering on the edge of 'cute' and 'cheesy' right now, honey." Ashton looked into Luke's eyes darkly.  
"I like you calling me 'honey'. We should keep that." Luke chuckled again.  
"Do I get a ridiculous nickname?" The older boy considered this.  
"What about baby?" Luke grinned.  
"Okay _daddy_." Ashton groaned.  
"Never call me daddy again. I swear. I'm not a fan." Luke laughed out loud.  
"Deal. But baby is okay. I can cope with that."  
"Okay, baby. Go get ready. I'll check the times." Luke placed a sweet kiss on Ashton's cheek before bouncing away.

  
Luke shut his bedroom door behind him and leant against it for a seconds, gathering his thoughts. This was moving fast, faster than he imagined after that little 'stunt' he'd played in the kitchen all those days ago. They'd gone from no communication at all, to kissing and blow jobs and snuggling and 'I love you's', really fast, and it should have felt wrong, but this was Luke and Ashton, Ashton and Luke, and they'd know each other since puberty, and everyone knew the sexual   
tension had just brewing for quite some time. It was only right that they were acting on it, right?

Or maybe they were rushing. Ashton's confession last night had startled Luke, and was making him think over things he hadn't thought about for, well, three years. Things about love and feelings, and he knew he'd loved Ashton when he was younger, a besotted young boy with a helpless crush, but now he was an adult and having to face these feelings again scared him. Terrified him. He couldn't cope with the hearbreak again.

Luke flopped down on his bed, thinking through his options.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is quite short, but I'm just getting back into the swing of things. I do really want to complete this story, because I've never actually completed a multipchaper that I've started, lol.  
> Bare with me, I do actually know what I'm doing, kind of.


	16. Fassbender, really?

Ashton checked the times, (they could go at either four-thirty, five, or five-forty), and then sat on the sofa for a few moments, waiting. He didn't know how many times he'd mentally prayed to the Gods in thanks for Luke's display in the kitchen all those days ago, but he did it again regardless. He was going on a date with Luke Hemmings, the boy he'd know for years and years and watched grow up whilst growing up himself. It felt surreal.

He waited for a few minutes, until the time ticked into more than a few, and Ashton had been waiting for fifteen minutes. He presumed Luke would be doing his hair, and fuck, he was whipped, because he wanted to be there with him, waiting for him.

It was weird, because after not talking for three years, all he wanted to do was be in close proximity with Luke at all times. Even something as mundane as him getting ready to go out, Ashton wanted to be there, watching, making quips, just breathing the same air.

He remembers what he said last night, fuck drunk Ashton for dropping the L-bomb, and fuck himself for referring to himself as 'drunk Ashton', and he honestly doesn't know what to think about it. He hadn't thought about that yet, they'd been speaking again for a few days only, but apparently he had been when he was intoxicated, because, whoop, there it is, and he could do nothing about it.   
If he _did_  think about it, whether he... loved Luke or not, Ashton thought, yeah, he probably did, but it was too early on in their relationship, (was that even what it was?), to be thinking about it too much, let alone _saying_  it. But of course, he'd said it, without thought and without qualms.

He knows Luke remembers from how quickly he had bypassed the topic this morning, and that was nothing but a bad sign. If he was ignoring it, it should probably tell Ash something about how he felt about it. Hell, the way _he'd_  said it in the first place should probably tell him something about how he was feeling about it, about Luke.

Luke didn't open the door or answer, so Ashton pushed the door a little, and found Luke, on his bed, face planted into his pillows.

"Uh, Luke? You good?" There was a grumble from the blonde head on the pillow. "I can't understand you while you're eating the pillow." Luke lifted his head and made reluctant eye contact with the older boy.  
"I'll take this as... you're _not_  good?" A blonde eyebrow raised. "Wanna talk?" Silence.  
"I just - I don't know."  
"Is this about... last night? What I said?" Blue eyes snapped to his. "I'll take that as a yes."  
"Yes - no - yes. I kinda, forgot about it until this morning, and then I got thinking and _over_ thinking, and here we are."  
"Did I freak you out?"  
"It scared me. Last time, well, we _all_  know how I felt. We'd have to be stupid not to. But I was a kid, a child - shit, I don't mean when we, nearly fucked on a sofa, I mean when I developed feelings, and then I got over them. I had to because you publicly rejected me, no offence, and then I grew up." He took a deep breath. "And I got over it. It took me a really long time, and I guess a part of me, no, all of me, is terrified that you'll break my heart _again_ , and once again I'll have to pick up the pieces." Ashton just stared at him.

His hair was mussed up from where he'd been pressed into the pillow, his cheeks flushed and his lips slightly parted from his admission. When Ashton looked at the face of the beautiful boy before him, the boy he _loved_ , he could never imagine hurting him, or ever leaving him again.

"I - I think it's best if we forgot I said it, until we're ready. It's not that I, shit, I don't know, I _meant_  it, but let's pretend I didn't?" Luke smiled, confused. Ashton sighed and sat on the bed next to him, and clasped his hand.  
"Luke, I, _care_ , about you a lot, and I will do my best not to hurt you. I can't see the future, I don't know what's going to happen, fuck, you could end up hurting _me_ , but I can promise you that I won't leave you. Not with the way I'm... feeling." Luke's eyes searched his face and Ashton smiled. "Now, I know you're being a worrier, and I get it, but can we go on that date anyway? Start slow?" Luke nodded sheepishly.

Luke was ready in fifteen minutes, not bothering to do his hair, just throwing on clothes, and Ashton followed his idea. So they both left the house, not looking their best but looking like _them_ , and that's all they'd need for tonight.

It was four thirty already, so they couldn't go to the first showing, so they settled for the second, favouring to grab food after so they could talk about the movie. They walked there, (it was only a fifteen minute walk from their urban apartment), hand in hand, talking about little things, like the band, their past and Di from the diner, until they broached the subject of Calum and Michael.

"I can't believe them. We're their best friends! We deserved to be kept in the loop." Luke sulked a little. Ashton wrapped an arm around his waist.  
"Because we tell them _everything_  that's going on with us, don't we?"  
"Hey, we did! We both talked to Cal and Mikey independently when all the 'shit hit the fan', and then when we started talking again."  
"Did you tell them about phone call?"  
"Well -"  
"Or that little scene in the elevator?"  
"Okay -"  
"What about the blow jo-"  
"I didn't say I wanted to know about their _sex_  life, just their, uh, coming together." Ashton snickered.  
"Asshole." Ashton grinned.  
"So, we have a sex life, do we Lukey?" Luke rolled his eyes to detract attention from his blush.  
"Well, not really, I guess it depends on your definition of sex." Ashton laughed and Luke looked at him questioningly.  
"It's just, the last time we did anything remotely even _like_  sex, you couldn't even say it. Now its ' _sex this_ ' and ' _sex that_ '." He huffed.  
"Hardly."  
"Uh-huh. You think you're a sex pro?"  
"Not even close."  
"You seemed to know what you were doing when you sucked me off in Chrissy's toilet."  
"I've seen porn before -"  
"Porn isn't real life. Real sex is nothing like porn." Luke snorted.  
"I beg to differ. You were moaning pretty similarly to a porn star." Ashton burst out laughing.  
"So you're telling me you've never given a blow job before?"  
"Ashton..." Luke's voice was shy.  
"Come on, you can talk to me. Have you?" The blonde shook his head.  
"I've never done anything with a guy before." Ashton's eyes snapped to his.  
"That's what I... I thought, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. I heard about the girl -" Luke flinched.  
"I'm sorry about that."  
"Why? I was an asshole. I didn't expect you to wait for me to stop being an asshole."  
"I know, but I don't know. Part of me wishes I hadn't done anything, so you'd be my first _everything_." Ashton smiled.  
"You're very good at saying the right thing, you know?" Luke shrugged.  
"It's true. I do regret it. But it did give me some experience."  
"Did she have a penis?" Luke giggled.  
"You know what I mean."  
"I do." Ashton looked up, noticing they had arrived at the cinema.  
"Tickets?" Luke nodded, and they entered the building.

A little while later, they emerged again, both of them raving about the movie.  
"I am in _love_  with Evan Peters."  
"Hey!" Luke huffed indignantly.  
"Okay, I like you more."   
"Thanks, Ash. I like you more than Michael Fassbender."  
"Fassbender, really?" Luke nodded.  
"Oh yeah. And James McAvoy." Ashton laughed.  
" _That_ , I get. What do you want to eat?" Luke pouted.  
"Want to live like it's 2013 again and get a McDonald's?" Ashton grinned.  
"I've not had McDonald's in _years_."  
"Exactly. Let's go."

They ate on the floor of the back of the restaurant, sat against the building. No one spoke for a few moments, until Ashton just HAD to say something.  
"Are we dating?" Luke looked at him like a deer in the headlights.  
"I mean, this is _technically_  our second date. Maybe it's too soon to tell." He bumped Ashton's shoulder with his own.  
"Yeah, definitely. I think we broke the third date rule, though."  
"That?" Luke mock snorted. "That was barely a cuddle."  
"Hmm. Felt like more than a cuddle to me."  
"You always did have a vivid imagination." Ashton laughed. "I mean, I guess we are dating. If that's what you want?" The older boy smiled.  
"Of course I want that, _boyfriend_." Luke giggled, an innocent sound. The thought made Ashton want to giggle, too.

There was silence for a few minutes, but it was comfortable.

  
"It feels like nothings changed." Ashton sighed wistfully between bites.  
"'Cept I've had your dick in my mouth." Ashton choked on some of his burger and Luke laughed.  
"You can't say shit like that!"  
"Why does it get you all _hot and bothered_?" Luke took a bite of his burger.  
"Yes! Obviously!"   
"Sorry, man. I didn't realize I had that effect on you." Ashton nuzzled into Luke's neck, planting a few open-mouthed kisses to it.  
"Yes, you did, you asshole." Luke grabbed Ashton's head to keep it in position.  
"Okay, maybe I did. So what?"  
"You're cruel." Ashton applied suction to a spot on Luke's neck and the blonde released a soft sound.  
"Hypocrite."  
"Why am I a hypocrite?" Ashton bit the spot, then licked at it to soothe the ache. Luke's breathing hitched.  
"I... Shit, we can't do this here." Ashton's eyes met his.  
"Who says so? No one is back here, everyone's inside or out front. And from that little show in the elevator and at the party, I'd say you quite like knowing you could be caught at any moment." Luke watched as Ashton lowered his head to Luke's neck again, pulling his shirt down slighting to mouth at his collarbone. Ashton's hands worked up his shirt from the other end; toying with his sides and chest before sliding a finger under his waistband, stroking the skin there, but not moving any father down. Luke thrust upward, wanting, but was held in place by a new hand stroking his thigh. He whined and Ashton moved up from his spot on his chest to look into his eyes. Then his gaze moved to his lips and then he was moving in and his lips were on Luke's once more, and it felt so _right_. Their lips moved together, parted, exploratory. Ashton sucked on Luke's lower lip and he bucked once more, and with Ashton's hand no longer weighing him down, he found friction against Ashton's own crotch. Both of them groaned.  
"Okay," Ashton panted, "I'm all for some heavy petting outdoors, but I really need to get you home. Now." Luke nodded hastily, and they scrambled up, hand in hand, practically running back to the apartment together. So much for taking it slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late, and a little short. I didn't want to cram the chapter though. I can feel this drawing to a close, and it's a little sad for me, because this is one of the first multi-chapter fic I uploaded, and the first fic i'll actually end, so it's melancholic. If you've read from the beginning, then thank you, really. I do appreciate it, and all your lovely comments :) xxx


	17. Let's take a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY
> 
>  
> 
> SMUT WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luke and Ashton practically ran back to the apartment, holding hands, eager.

Once they reached the elevator, Luke giggled at the memory of what had happened the last time they were here, but was quickly silenced by Ashton tongue on his lips. They kissed; the doors shut and metal lift began climbing the floors as their hands searched desperately for skin-on-skin contact. Luke ran his hand under Ashton's t-shirt, teasing the muscles he'd developed through his drumming, and Ashton broke the kiss to rest his forehead against Luke's.

"If that bright-haired bastard interrupts us _again_ , I am actually going to stab him in the eye." Luke laughed and kissed him again, angling his head so that they could kiss even deeper, delving farther and farther into each others mouths, and Ashton's tongue stroked along his own; Luke made a high-pitched whining sound, and Ashton's hips snapped forwards.

They broke apart again, Ashton eyeing the changing number above the door of the elevator, watching for their arrival at their floor. Floor four, and they resided on seven. Ashton gave him a chaste kiss, surprising him, and looked into his eyes.  
"How we gonna do this, Lukey? Where do you wanna be?" Luke faced Ashton's intense stare. He knew what he was asking him, despite how diplomatically he had worded it.

_Top or bottom?_

Luke blushed, not just because of the question, and because of all the dirty things it made him think of, but also because last time they had been about to have sex, three years ago, Ashton had just _presumed_  what Luke wanted without asking him. He'd been right - whenever Luke pictured them... together, he was always on the bottom, thrashing and moaning underneath Aston's muscular body, crying out in pleasure. But just the fact that Ashton had asked him, cared enough to ask him, filled Luke with emotion.

Luke kissed him, pushing all his body against Ashton, not a millimeter of space between them, and Ashton groaned, his fingers fisting in his blonde hair. He kissed him hard, messy, all teeth and tongue, but Ashton didn't mind, pressing in just as hard and pulling at Luke's hair, tilting his head further to the side.

"You know where I want to be." Luke panted between kisses. Ashton broke off and looked at him with dilated pupils.  
"Yeah, I do. But I want to hear you say it." The blonde's eyes fluttered shut.  
"I, I want - I want you, fuck, this is harder than I thought it was going to be." Ashton laughed a little.  
"Lukey, it's just me."  
"Yeah, _just you_." Ashton smiled sweetly.  
"You trust me?" Luke nodded, eyes still closed. "Do you want me to bottom this time?"

Luke smiled. He didn't want that - he wanted nothing more than the dull stretch he imaged he'd feel when Ashton pushed inside him, but the fact that Ashton would offer to do that for him, offer to ignore his obvious preference, filled Luke with emotion.

Luke's eyes opened, and shook his head. Ashton smiled again, stroking the hair he'd been sensuously tugging on just seconds before. Luke leaned into the gentle touch, which was such a contrast that Luke sucked in a breath.

"I know this is a lot, and were moving fast, but I'm not going to hurt you. We can stop at any time, and go as slow as you want. I don't mind at all."  
"Okay. I do want this. I do. I just, I don't know what to do."  
"What you've been doing so far has been amazing, trust me." Ashton winked just as the lift stopped on their floor. The shorter boy tugged on Luke's hand and pulled him towards their apartment.

They paused for a few moments when they were inside, listening for their roommates. When they heard nothing, Ashton grinned, tugging the hand he was still holding towards Luke's bedroom.

Not for the first time that night, Luke was touched. Ashton desperately wanted Luke to be comfortable, and was going out of his way to ensure this. He wanted him to be in an environment he knew well, and despite him not vocalizing this, Luke knew.

Ashton kissed Luke again, and Luke decided that he hated Ashton a little bit for two reasons. One being, ' _shit, how can one of your talents be making out_ ', and the other being the fact that they could have been doing this for _three fucking years_ , but they hadn't been because of Ashton's honour, or messed up sense thereof.

Luke huffed into the kiss.

"You're an idiot." Ashton pulled away, confused but amused.  
"I don't know what you're referring to, but you're probably right." Luke shook his head fondly, kissing his cheek. Ashton laughed, Luke's favourite sound, and kissed Luke's own cheek. The blonde felt heat rise from his neck upward.  
"You're so cute, but not in an adorable way, if that makes sense?" Luke narrowed his eyes. "Like, that came out wrong. You're beautiful, gorgeous, that's what I meant, and I love it when you blush, it just makes you even cuter, but you're not so cute that I don't want to fuck you? I still want to fuck you." Luke made a whiny sound. The hazel eyed boy raised an eyebrow.  
"Dirty talk, that's what gets you off?" Luke smiled and moved into kiss the other boy once again. "How about we take this to the bed?"   
Ashton wiggled his eyebrows, walking into Luke's body until he moved closer and closer to the double bed in the center of the room. Luke's calves hit the edge, and he fell back, pulling Ashton down on top of him. He threw his head back laughing.

Ashton took advantage of Luke's laughter, leaning in and peppering light kisses along the column of the younger boys throat, reveling in the way his laughter turned into a moan. He kissed his way to Luke's clavicle, pulling the neckline of his t-shirt down slightly so he could mouth along it, before working his way back up the expanse of skin, kissing softly.

The brown-haired boy leaned back slightly, tugging his shirt over his head, mimicking for Luke to do the same.

He did.

Luke ran a hand over Ashton's chest and abdomen, his fingers tracing the lines of his abdominal muscles.   
"I wish singing was more physical. These muscles are worshipable." Ashton laughed.  
"Come again?"  
"Seriously. I like your abdomen more than I like your face." Luke's hand stroked down, until he touched Ashton's waist band, and they both watched as his abdomen jumped from his deep inhalation.   
"Really? I was hoping my brain would be your favourite part of me."  
"Nope. Abs. Then face. Then brain." Ashton grinned, and kissed Luke again, leaning forward once again so he was hovering over Luke, the other boys hand now trapped between his own body and Ashton's 'worshipable abs'.

As he hovered above Luke, Ashton couldn't help but wish he had a way to photograph the moment, to capture it so he could keep it forever.

Luke, lying back on his bed, shirtless, with Ashton above him also shirtless, his golden bronze curls hanging down around his face, both their eyes filled with so much love and adoration, respect and desire.

Luke continued to toy with his waist band, never delving deeper than the tip of his finger. The older boy watched for a moment to see if Luke dared to do anything more, and when he didn't, Ashton reached between them, grabbed Luke's hand and moved it away, intertwined their fingers, before moving to Luke's neck once more. He nipped, choosing one spot at the juncture of his neck and shoulders, clamping down and working on the area. Luke whined again, hips jutting forward instinctually, meeting Ashton's, and both boys groaned.

Ashton pulled away for a second to look at his boyfriend, whose head was once again thrown back, but this time in pleasure. Luke tilted his hips again, testing the waters, finding Ashton's own, and once he was satisfied, his legs wrapped around his ass, holding him close. Luke looked at him, his eyes dark, and grinded into Ashton properly.  
  
"Luke..." Ashton made a guttural noise originating from low in his throat, "if you don't stop I'm gonna say fuck foreplay and just get us both naked in five seconds flat." Luke raised an eyebrow and tilted his hips upward again.

Ashton could feel the outline of Luke's hardened cock through the black skinny jeans they both wore, and he was sure Luke could feel his, too. It was incredible; ten minutes of making out with Luke, and he was already hard and sweating. He felt like they had been transported back to the couch where all this started in the first place, both of them teenagers, both of them horny and confused.

He couldn't believe, if he really took a mental step back and looked at this rationally, that they had gone from _literal_  silence, no communication except fleeting eye contact and civility in interviews, to, well, _this_ , in the space of a week, give or take a few days.

He kept replaying snapshots of the past three years in his mind, how horrible and miserable they had both visibly been, keeping up a facade for the public, a mask of friendship, when in reality, behind closed doors, they were both struggling with their personal internal debates, Luke dealing with Ashton's rejection, Ashton dealing with his 'irresponsible' actions.

And now here they were, Luke wantonly grinding his hips, his cock, upwards to Ashton's, their crotches nudging in the most pleasurable way, Ashton's lip drawn between his lips as he had just outright given up working on the hickey he was creating on Luke's neck, both of them far too worked up for what they were actually doing. He could feel the sweat collecting on his forehead, droplets that demonstrated his body's reaction to Luke, but couldn't wipe it away. One of his hand was locked with Luke's, their hands adjacent to Luke's head, and the other was bracing his body above the blonde's own.

Luke's free hand moved to Ashton's back, his fingernails lightly scratching along the older boys vertebrae, before settling on the skin just above his waistband, above his ass. Ashton arched into the touch slightly, reveling when Luke's palm flattened, his pinky finger laying on what was technically his ass.

Ashton took his hand that was intertwined with Luke's and moved it between their bodies once again, this time settling it on the button of Luke's jeans, flicking it open, not doing anything more, all whilst watching his boyfriends reaction. When Luke thrust up once again, into Ashton's hand, the brunette pulled his fly down too, tugging the jeans down slightly over his hips.

"This is the first time in my life that I'm complaining about how tight the jeans you wear are." Ashton could hear his own voice; low and husky, another tell of his arousal. Luke smiled languidly, looking almost drunk.

He leaned back on his heels, pulling Luke's jeans further over his legs, bypassing his thighs, knees, calves, and finally, his ankles. He threw them across the room, grinning at Luke like the Cheshire Cat. He leant down, kissing the now exposed skin of Luke's ankle, inhaling the scent of the blonde hair there, and then kissed further up, his lips tracing the journey the jeans had taken to be removed; his ankle, calf, knee, his thigh. Ashton stopped at the smooth, supple skin of his inner thigh, could hear Luke's heavy breathing as he nuzzled, his deep moan as his cheek brushed his dick through his trunks.

Tortuously slow, Ashton nuzzled his way back down his left leg, moving on to his right, kissing up the length once again, ignoring Luke's irritated huff at the glacial pace, soaking up his moans, whines and soft 'hmm's'. Once he was back at Luke's inner thigh, he pressed his nose against the obvious indentation in his trunks, almost groaning at the moan Luke let out, and kissed him through the fabric, working his way to the waistband. One he was there, Ashton hooked his fingers under the material, once again observing Luke for a negative reaction, but when he looked at Luke, all he saw was how wrecked he truly was.

One arm was bent above his head, the muscles he had stretched taut as he fisted the pillow above him, his lower lip wet from his saliva, tugged between his teeth. Eyes alternating between scrunching shut and watching Ashton's ministrations.

Ashton wanted to come in his pants just from the sight.

He began to nudge the trunks down, Luke's hip bones now visible, the light line of hair leading him to the treasures hidden below. Luke watched, and Ashton locked eyes with him, never looking away, as he finally pulled the thin fabric away from Luke's crotch and towards his legs, careful to pull them up so they didn't get stuck on Luke's hard cock. Luke inhaled deeply through his nose, his nostrils flaring, all the time, their eye contact not wavering.

Once the shorts had joined the jeans on the floor, Ashton allowed himself to look down.

Luke's cock, long and thin, nestled over a patch of pale brown hair, had cloudy white fluid beading at the head, a sign of his _own_  arousal. Ashton breathed out through his nose intentionally, letting the cold air hit Luke's cock, reveling in the sound of his sharp moan.

A hand enclosed around Ashton's chin, Luke's hand, and he was being pulled up, back to Luke's mouth, and they kissed once more.

This was less practiced and perfected than it had been before; it was more desperate and lust-driven, teeth hitting off each others, but the pain was never registered as their tongues teased each other, battling in the captivity of their mouths.

Luke flipped them over, surprising Ashton with his strength; he'd know he was secretly strong, but not strong enough to move two grown men, and suddenly Luke was on top of him, completely naked, his cock jutting out from between his hipbones, hair mussed, eyes darker than the jeans Ashton still wore.

Luke must have had the same thoughts Ashton had, as his hands mimicked what the older boys had before, flicking open the button on his jeans, slowly, achingly slowly, tugging down the zipper, and working the jeans away from Ashton's own legs.

These jeans weren't quite as tight, so Luke struggled much less than Ashton had before, removing and throwing them across the room in half the time Ashton had. He leaned in, kissed Ashton's clavicle, down to his nipple, before taking the mauve bud into his mouth and sucking lightly.

Ashton, who had in no way been expecting Luke to do that, arched off the bed, the sucking motions going straight to his groin, prompting more precome to trickle from the end of his hard cock.

Luke nibbled lightly, not enough to hurt but enough to stun, before moving to the other nipple, replicating the series of events that he had enacted on the other side. Once he was done, and Ashton was sufficiently panting, he licked down his sternum, to his belly button, which he placed a light kiss on, and to his waist band, where he ran his nose along the thick rim of the material. Ashton's head momentarily flopped back against the pillow, his neck unable to support his head anymore while he was feeling Luke, _watching_  Luke. He composed his self, desperate not to miss anything, and looked up in time to see Luke pick up the side of his boxers using his teeth, tugging them over his left hipbone, before sliding along and capturing the fabric again, pulling the right side down using the same method.

His boxers were now caught on the tip of his dick, and his eyes narrowed, waiting to see what Luke would do about this, reveling in the dull pleasure of the tight material applying pressure to the hot head of his cock. Luke, unfazed, wrapped his teeth around the strip of material above the wet tip, his nose brushing it, and Ashton hissed at the sharp pleasure, while Luke pulled down, tugging them down to his thighs.

The cold air initially shocked Ashton; it was by no means cold in Luke's bedroom, but the feeling of the room-temperature air against his hot, heavy length caused him to groan. Luke was sat on his legs, watching Ashton, studying his naked form, and Ashton felt exposed under the weight of his stare, but in a way that aroused him more, managing to coerce more fluid from the tip of his cock.

Luke finally moved after seconds of just observing, and ran his hands along Ashton's legs, slowly, languidly, until he reached the juncture of his thighs, and he took Ashton's cock into his cool hands. Ashton stared, his eyes refusing to move away from watching the display in front of him.

He gave it an experimental stroke from base to tip, watching the foreskin cover the head, and Ashton's eyes rolled into the back of his skull. Luke had touched his cock before, in Chrissy's bathroom, but this felt completely different, less rushed and more conscious.

Last time Luke had had his hands on his cock, he'd sucked it, causing it become slick with Luke's own form of lubrication, but this time there was no moisture at all, the friction of Luke's hand against his dry skin made Ashton grind his teeth together subconsciously.

Luke ran his thumb over the wet slit on the tip of Ashton's dick, and Ashton's hand enclosed over Luke's hand, stopping anymore movement. Luke looked up at him in confusion.

"If you keep doing that, I'm gonna come here and now." Luke smirked.  
"I'll get you hard again."  
"' _I'll get you hard_  - You're actually gonna fucking kill me. I'm going to die." Luke laughed. "Come here."

Luke slid his body over Ashton's, hovered over him, and kissed him again.

Ashton thought, that if he could only do one thing ever again before he died, he would choose kissing Luke. Nothing sexual, not sex, not him slipping inside of him, thrusting until they were both near tears, but just simply kissing him. It could be soothing, soft, pleasurable like it was in their living room, or in public, or it could be scorching, all-encompassing, soul-shaking like it was now. Ashton fucking loved it.

 _He_  flipped them this time, Luke below him once more, and Ashton kissing down his chin, the sloppiest kiss he'd ever given, he's sure, and moved straight down to Luke's cock, straight for the jugular, and took him into his mouth, no kissing or licking, just suction, varying in intensity, causing Luke to writhe and moan under him. Luke's hand found his hair and pulled, unrelenting, causing Ashton's hips to buck forward, fucking into the duvet beneath them. He released Luke with a wet pop only seconds after taking him into his mouth.

"Luke," he gasped out, "I can't, I need, fuck, I gotta be inside you. I'm so fucking close - we've done nothing and I'm gonna fucking _come_ , I _need_ to be inside you." Luke whined, nodding hastily. Ashton nodded, too.

"I don't suppose you have any lube in here?" Luke nodded once more, surprising Ashton.  
"Bottom drawer," he pointed vaguely to his left, "yeah, in there." Ashton leaned his entire body off the bed, fumbling in the drawer, until he found the bottle of lube.  
"Do you use this?" Luke's eyes snapped to his.  
"Yeah, sometimes. Not often." Ashton went back to his previous position, facing Luke's cock, and studied the bottle.  
"On your dick?"  
"Well, yeah." Ashton stared into Luke's eyes.  
"Do you finger yourself?" Luke blushed in response. Ashton felt as if the world had spun on its axis.

"No fucking way. You've finger fucked yourself with this?" Luke nodded coyly. Ashton flicked open the cap, squeezing some of the cool jelly onto his fingers, before hiking Luke's legs up into the air, exposing his asshole.   
"How many fingers do you use?" He stroked over the puckered hole, not pressing in just yet. Luke sucked in a breath.  
"Two. I - I've used three once, but I cramped up." Ashton kissed the inside of his knee as he pushed his first finger inside.

Luke's eyes drifted shut. It might not be his first time having a finger up his ass, but it was the first time someone else had done it to him, and the sensation was completely different.

Ashton watched in amazement as Luke's body moved, his insides clenching around his finger.

"When did you first do it?" Luke's eyes opened and found Ashton's.  
"I don't remember. A year or so ago?" Ashton nodded and added another finger, scissoring them inside Luke, watching as his hole gave way to the power of his digits.

"Do you like it?" He hooked his fingers, searching, stroking Luke's interior walls until he found the little lump inside that he'd been looking for. Luke's back arched off the bed and he moaned, as his fingers fisted in the duvet.  
"Yeah, yes, I like it... but I've never, never-"  
"Never found this?" Ashton applied pressure to his prostate in demonstration. Luke practically sobbed.  
"No." Ashton inhaled deeply through his nose. He pushed another finger inside, watching as Luke's asshole engulfed it, taking, accommodating, and he used the new finger to stroke over the entire surface area of Luke's prostate. Luke whined.

"What do you think about?" Luke opened his mouth to answer, but only more whiny noises came out.

"Do you think about being fucked? Think about someone fucking you, with their fingers or their dick, it doesn't matter, does it? Do you think about me? Do you think about this?" Ashton stroked his prostate again and again, and Luke turned his head to the left, his nose embedding itself into the pillow.  
"Lukey..."  
"Yes, I think about you, I think about you prepping me like you are now, then saying something like 'I can't wait anymore', or whatever, then you just, you're fucking me, and its the best think I can imagine. But I, I, fucking hell, I don't even think I'm gonna make it there."

Ashton twisted his fingers a few more times, a mischievous smile taking over his face. He removed his fingers with a sloppy wet sound, and Luke whined at the feeling of being empty. Ashton leaned over him, his lips touching the ear that wasn't buried in the pillow.   
"I can't wait anymore." He whispered, breath tickling Luke's ear. The younger boy moaned, his hand coming up to hold the side of Ashton's face, the gesture intimate, and held him next to him.

Ashton kissed the hand, before grabbing a condom that Luke had in his bottom drawer, he'd ask him about that later, and rolling it on his hard length. He slicked his cock with a light layer of the lube he'd used to fuck Luke with his fingers, before positioning himself over Luke. His cock was an inch, if that, away from Luke's asshole, and he longed to just buck forward and bury himself inside him, but he knew he couldn't, he needed to make sure Luke was okay first.

Ashton paused for a moment, and stared at Luke.

His hair wasn't jelled, fanning the duvet, his head causally thrown to the side, exposed neck, adam's apple bobbing as his legs twitched on either side of Ashton's hips.

Ashton knew, as ridiculously clicked and movie-esque it sounded, that 'drunk Ashton' had been right; he _did_  love Luke. He wouldn't say it to him, he didn't know how Luke would take the admission, especially after that morning, especially not in the middle of sex, cliché as fuck, but Ashton knew it was true.

Ashton looked at those fucking delicious dimples, perfect teeth nibbling his soft lips, and knew that, deep down, despite how much the last three years had sucked, they had been worth it, because he hadn't been _ready_  for loving Luke, hadn't been _worthy_ , and now he was, was in the right head space, and totally and completely in love with him.

Ashton pressed forward, the blunt tip of his cock pushing against Luke's opening, and Luke whined, his mouth falling open. Ashton didn't move anymore, reveling in the look on Luke's face. Luke reached out and grabbed ahold of Ashton's ass, pressing him forward even more.

"Ash, please, I need you. _Please_." Ashton groaned, and finally pushed forward properly, his cock breaching his hole, as inch by inch, he pushed inside Luke until he couldn't push any farther.

Once he was fully sheathed inside Luke, he paused, not moving, waiting for Luke to adjust, and also secretly for him to adjust, too. He really did feel like a teenager,   
Luke was frozen in the same position he'd been in before, his mouth hanging open, fingers fisting in the sheets to the sides of him.

He stayed like that for nearing a minute, and time seemed to still; Ashton daren't move in case he startled him, or hurt him.

Eventually, after what felt like a few minutes to Ashton, but was probably just over one, Luke faced forward again, his face no longer tucked into the safe sanctity of his pillow, but looking forwards, looking at Ashton, looking at where his cock was buried inside Luke, and Ashton's eyes were automatically drawn in that direction, too.

Luke's asshole was stretched taut, accommodating his thick dick, pretty and pink, full, and Ashton had to close his eyes, because even though they hadn't moved for a little while, Ashton still felt like he was at knife point - seconds away from coming.

Luke pressed his ass into the mattress a little bit, Ashton's cock coming out about half an inch, and then he did the opposite and pressed back up, the half-inch disappearing once more. Ashton watched Luke's brows draw together, a mesmerized expression on his face, as he slowly fucked himself on Ashton's hard length.

When Luke finally looked up at Ashton, their eyes meeting, Ashton had to force himself to swallow so he didn't dribble, because he might have had sex before, but _nothing_  had prepared him for sex with Luke Hemmings.

"Ash... I - I'm okay, you can move." Ashton studied his face for a few seconds, before slowly pulling his cock out, until only the head was inside, and pushing it all the way back in.

He fucked Luke slowly; whenever books explained someones first time, they start slow then they escalate to fucking fast and hard, as if they have already adjusted completely. Ashton didn't want to hurt Luke, it would fucking kill him, but not only that, he wanted this to last, he wanted that slow burn to build up and up, until both of them couldn't take it anymore, until they were crying out each others names. He didn't want to just use him, use his body, fucking him relentlessly until they both got off. He wanted _more_.

He leaned over Luke's body, nuzzling into his neck, kissing the skin there, as he slowly pushed in and out, basking in Luke's soft whines. The blonde's nails were pressed harshly into his lower back, holding him close, while the other hand-held the back of Ashton's neck, keeping him close to him.

Ashton thought, really, that they weren't fucking, they were making love.

He hated that phrase, actually, genuinely _hated_  it, it sounded cheesy, like something from a Cecelia Ahern novel, but that's what they were doing, slowly rocking together, holding each other close, _needing_  each other close, taking pleasure not only in the joining of their bodies, but of their hearts.

They were stomach to stomach; Luke's cock sliding between their bodies when Ashton rocked, causing Luke to make even _more_  noise.

This wasn't like the other times; the couch, the phone call, the elevator, the party, no talking dirty, no uncontrollable desire, just loving and caring.

Ashton lifted his head, watching Luke, whose eyes were tightly closed, his head bending towards Ashton, where Ashton had been snuggled into his neck. Luke was grinding down harder and harder, his body working subconsciously as his orgasm built, his moans getting louder and longer, his fingers digging deeper into Ashton's back. Ashton knew the tell-tale signs of someone being close, and there was no doubt in his mind that Luke was. He leant forward and kissed him, ugly and unfocused, and Luke kissed him back even messier than Ashton, and Ashton picked up the tempo slightly, fucking him a little harder as Luke kissed him as best as he could while he was moaning. Then, when Ashton had moved with a little more power, he hit Luke's prostate for the first time with his cock, and Luke called out, his nails cutting Ashton's back, his back arching off the bed, pushing them closer together.

He could feel the coil tightening in his abdomen, the pleasure building more, climbing higher and higher along with Luke, but he wanted, needed, to see Luke come, to feel him tighten around his cock, milking Ashton until he came along side him, so he kept thrusting, focused on hitting that spot over and over and over again.

Luke noises were getting more and more incoherent, his own thrusts messier and less precise, and then he yelled, his legs stiffening, his nails slackening, as Ashton felt fluid touch his stomach. Luke's hole sucked on Ashton's cock, constricting, tensing around him, and Ashton's jaw dropped as he fucked into Luke more and more, officially using his body, until his own orgasm hit him, and he locked up too, his thrusts no longer thrusts, just sharp movements, as he came in the condom, filling it.

He kept rocking for a moment or two, riding out his orgasm until he was coherent once again, lines blurring and the world coming in focus once more.

He slid out of Luke, causing the younger boy to hiss, and removed the condom, tying it and throwing it in the direction of the bin.

"That could be anywhere." Luke said after a yawn.  
"Yes, but it's _probably_  in the bin."  
"I'm too tired to argue with you." Ashton wanted to say those words, those intimate, meaningful words, but not wanting it to look like the post-coital bliss talking, so instead he kissed his forehead, sighing against his hair, before falling on the bed beside him.

"Let's take a nap." Luke hummed in agreement and turned towards Ashton, throwing an arm around his torso, nuzzling in. Ashton smiled to himself.  
"Goodnight, Lukey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally let them get it on!!!!!! (Although a really evil part of me wanted Michael to walk in on Ashton fingering Luke, sorry not sorry) Anywho, this isn't going to be much longer, just another chapter or two, to round it up, so I hope you liked this:)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to hell


End file.
